The Depressive Newsletter

The Depressive Newsletter explores the multifaceted experiences of managing depression, emphasizing self-care, relationship dynamics, overcoming societal stigma, and exploring personal growth. It provides insights into mental health challenges, offers supportive advice, and advocates for a balanced approach to coping with depression and its impact on both individuals and their relationships.

Mental Health Self-Care Relationship Dynamics Societal Stigma Personal Growth Habit Formation Mindfulness Masculinity

The hottest Substack posts of The Depressive Newsletter

And their main takeaways

Your partner shouldn't carry your depression

157 implied HN points • 25 Dec 21
  1. Your partner shouldn't be responsible for carrying your depression, they need help too
  2. Living with someone experiencing depression can be challenging and it's important to set healthy boundaries
  3. Consider seeking couples therapy to address how depression impacts the relationship and share the emotional labor

A separation

78 implied HN points • 08 Aug 22
  1. Getting separated can involve bureaucratic processes and societal expectations, even without children.
  2. Divorce stories often focus on conflict and crisis, but there can be room for mutual respect and friendship.
  3. It's important to prioritize values, clear communication, and understanding in navigating difficult relationship endings.

Crying

98 implied HN points • 08 Oct 21
  1. Crying is a healthy way to connect with emotions and should be normalized for everyone, regardless of gender.
  2. Crying is responsible and mature, not a sign of weakness, as it allows for emotional release and prevents negative reactions like anger.
  3. Bottling up emotions, including crying, can harm your health and relationships, so it's important to express your feelings and seek comfort.

On being productively unproductive

98 implied HN points • 12 Sep 21
  1. Feeling unproductive doesn't mean lack of motivation, but possibly lack of executive function.
  2. Reframing unproductive time as interesting can lead to self-reflection without judgment.
  3. Acceptance of unproductive periods is okay to practice, especially in privileged situations.
Get a weekly roundup of the best Substack posts, by hacker news affinity:

“Why don't you go outside”

117 implied HN points • 28 Mar 21
  1. Advice like 'Why don't you go outside' may not always be helpful for those struggling with depression.
  2. Depression can make simple tasks, like going outside, extremely challenging.
  3. It's important to communicate what kind of support you truly need when dealing with depression.

Going through the emotions

78 implied HN points • 04 Sep 21
  1. Toxic masculinity can discourage the display of emotions like sadness and vulnerability.
  2. Avoiding emotions can lead to internal struggles and relationship challenges.
  3. Acknowledging and sitting through emotions can lead to empowerment and resolution.

Being critical without being cynical

98 implied HN points • 19 Jan 21
  1. Being critical doesn't have to mean being cynical
  2. Questioning self-improvement doesn't mean avoiding personal growth
  3. It's okay to be skeptical, but also open to new perspectives

Crashing

98 implied HN points • 02 Jan 21
  1. Accepting help for depression can be difficult but necessary for progress.
  2. Recognizing the signs and symptoms of depression is crucial for seeking help.
  3. Being open to different forms of support and accepting your condition is a vital step in managing depression.

My Morning Routine

39 implied HN points • 13 Mar 22
  1. Establishing a morning routine can help reclaim agency and start the day with purpose.
  2. Self-care, like a facial routine or dressing well, can be empowering and improve self-perception.
  3. Challenging societal norms around masculinity and fashion can lead to a more fulfilling self-care routine.

Bystanders of depression

58 implied HN points • 03 Feb 21
  1. Depression affects more than just the person experiencing it - it also impacts those around them.
  2. Living with someone suffering from depression can be challenging and can lead to strain in relationships.
  3. Acknowledging how depression affects others is an important part of the healing process.

My Path to a Diagnosis

58 implied HN points • 03 Jan 21
  1. Getting a diagnosis for mental health issues can be a long process with ups and downs.
  2. Seeking professional help for mental health can be daunting due to various reasons like stigma and self-perception.
  3. Having a diagnosis can provide structure and access to systematic help, despite being a construct.

The hindsight at the end of the tunnel

19 implied HN points • 26 Feb 22
  1. Viewing depression as a state of consciousness can help in understanding it better.
  2. Recovering from depression brings about a rediscovery of oneself and a fuller range of emotions.
  3. Coming out of depression is challenging and involves dealing with regret and sadness.

Maximizing OKness

39 implied HN points • 26 Jan 21
  1. Focus on what you want more of in life, not just what you want less of.
  2. Therapy can help you aim for 'being OK' rather than just 'happy'.
  3. Challenge yourself to identify what is important to you and the person you want to become.

Reading Atomic Habits: Part I

39 implied HN points • 16 Jan 21
  1. Depression can disrupt healthy routines like exercise and socializing.
  2. Changing habits slowly can reshape your identity.
  3. Reading about habits and identity can be beneficial for mental health.

Getting into the habit of habit tracking

39 implied HN points • 08 Jan 21
  1. Habit tracking can help with dealing with depression
  2. Reshaping habits and routines can be beneficial for mental health
  3. Committing to a weekly schedule can be rewarding

My toxic masculinity

19 implied HN points • 17 Oct 21
  1. Being 'a feminist' doesn't guarantee not perpetuating harmful gender expectations.
  2. Self-identity as a feminist may hide involvement in toxic masculinity behaviors.
  3. Recognizing and addressing toxic masculinity requires humility, growth, and emotional responsibility.

Uncaught by the river

19 implied HN points • 07 Mar 21
  1. Practicing mindfulness can help with stress and anxiety by providing a 'reset' for your mind.
  2. Guided meditation exercises, even for just 10 minutes a day, can be surprisingly useful.
  3. Mindfulness involves noticing and recognizing your thoughts without judgment, which can be beneficial for mental well-being.

Motion into action

19 implied HN points • 05 Mar 21
  1. Author reflecting on breaking posting schedule for habit series
  2. Author discusses not feeling bad about breaking the schedule
  3. Post available only for paid subscribers

Reluctantly getting into mindfulness

19 implied HN points • 09 Feb 21
  1. Try mindfulness to take control of your thoughts and actions.
  2. Mindfulness is a tool, not a cure, for addressing destructive thoughts and habits.
  3. Observing yourself without judgment can help make conscious decisions.

Dope habit loops

19 implied HN points • 07 Feb 21
  1. Finding motivation to exercise can be a struggle, even though the benefits are known.
  2. Knowing the benefits of exercise, like the endorphin rush, is different from actually feeling motivated to start working out.
  3. It's common to enjoy the feeling of having exercised rather than the process of exercising itself.

Make it obivous, obviously

19 implied HN points • 31 Jan 21
  1. The newsletter about Atomic Habits shifted to bi-weekly
  2. The author reflects on not sticking to habit tracking
  3. The post is for paid subscribers only

”It’s going great!”

19 implied HN points • 14 Jan 21
  1. Masking emotions can be counterproductive and harmful to relationships.
  2. Being open and honest about struggles can lead to better mental health and stronger connections.
  3. Acknowledging one's feelings and emotions is important for personal growth and self-awareness.

“I appreciate you”

19 implied HN points • 05 Jan 21
  1. Ted Lasso teaches about gratitude and empathy through coaching.
  2. Showing appreciation and gratitude can help combat negative thoughts.
  3. Expressing gratitude is a way to focus on others and move beyond oneself.

Morning pages revisited 📖

1 HN point • 10 Apr 22
  1. Start your day by writing 3 pages of thoughts in a notebook for mindful mental garbage collection.
  2. Use habit stacking and rewards to help establish the morning pages practice.
  3. Write with pen and paper to avoid distractions and overthinking, focusing on pouring out thoughts and dealing with stress.