The hottest Relationships Substack posts right now

And their main takeaways
Category
Top Health & Wellness Topics

The Typical Man Disgusts the Typical Woman

Bet On It • 623 implied HN points • 13 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social norms Gender Studies Psychology Evolutionary Theory
  1. Men and women often have very different views on attractiveness. Most men rate women highly, but many women rate men much lower.
  2. Rejection isn't just personal; it's often about general trends in attraction. Women may reject many men because they generally find most men less appealing.
  3. Both men and women can improve their dating experiences. Men can work on personal grooming and manners, while women can try to appreciate qualities like charm and humor more.

against narrative

internet princess • 50282 implied HN points • 21 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Narrative Emotion Identity Art
  1. Love can be really complicated and messy, and it's common to have both good and painful experiences in a relationship. Sometimes we find ourselves questioning if we were good or bad partners.
  2. People often want to turn their experiences into neat stories to make sense of them, but real feelings and relationships are much more complex and can't always fit into a simple narrative.
  3. Accepting the complexity of our emotions and experiences, rather than just trying to find answers, can be liberating and help us truly live with our feelings.

Jerky Men and Crazy Women

Fake Noûs • 513 implied HN points • 11 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Gender Roles Stereotypes Relationships Psychology Evolutionary Theory
  1. There are common stereotypes where men think women are crazy and women think men are jerks. These ideas come from perceptions that may or may not be realistic.
  2. Men might be seen as jerks because self-centered behavior helped them succeed in the past. This might be related to competition among men for reproductive opportunities.
  3. Women can be seen as crazy if they show strong emotions, especially negative ones. This is often linked to how women have been traditionally more vulnerable in relationships.

La phobie de l’engagement n’existe pas

L'Atelier Galita • 139 implied HN points • 31 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social norms Gender Studies Psychology Personal Development
  1. The idea of commitment phobia is often exaggerated; many people just avoid serious relationships with specific partners. It's not that they fear commitment overall, but rather with certain individuals.
  2. Men often know quickly if they want a serious relationship, but may take advantage of women's hesitation to express their desires.
  3. While a few people may genuinely have a fear of commitment, they are much less common than people think.

dating is hard... what are we going to do about it?

bookbear express • 192 implied HN points • 14 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social Issues Lifestyle Dating Community
  1. Dating can be tough for many people, often due to past relationships and unrealistic expectations. It’s normal to feel lost when starting to date again after a long time.
  2. Many individuals find online dating to be overwhelming and sometimes frustrating. Real-life connections often feel more meaningful compared to chatting online.
  3. In-person matchmaking and events offer a refreshing alternative to dating apps. They create opportunities for genuine connections without the pressure of fast-paced digital interactions.
Get a weekly roundup of the best Substack posts, by hacker news affinity:

Marriage

David Friedman’s Substack • 332 implied HN points • 31 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Marriage Economics Family Society Traditions Relationships
  1. Marriage can be viewed as a partnership where both people share responsibilities like income, chores, and caring for children. It's like running a small business together.
  2. People often choose not to buy all services from outside, like cooking or cleaning, because it's easier and cheaper to do these things at home. It saves time and effort to manage these tasks within a marriage instead of hiring others.
  3. The decline in marriage rates might be linked to fewer household responsibilities and easier options for divorce, which make it less binding than before. People are adjusting to a modern world where marriage can seem less necessary.

Be It Resolved!

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 2156 implied HN points • 31 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Personal Growth Creative Writing Relationships Self-reflection Mindfulness
  1. Make time to appreciate the beautiful things around you every day. It can really lift your spirits and change your perspective.
  2. Focus on writing more deeply and ambitiously. Challenge yourself to explore new forms of writing you haven't tried before.
  3. Invest in your friendships by regularly reaching out and making plans. Being a good friend can bring joy to both you and those you care about.

It’s okay NOT to talk about politics

Civic Renaissance with Alexandra Hudson • 299 implied HN points • 27 Oct 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Elections Discourse Civility Relationships Society
  1. It's perfectly fine to avoid political discussions. There are many other topics that can keep conversations lively and enjoyable without politics.
  2. If someone brings up politics too often, it's okay to change the subject. Refreshing conversations can help strengthen relationships.
  3. Choosing civility and kindness in discussions is more important than focusing solely on political views. Focusing on shared interests can help maintain harmony in relationships.

Seven Years of Lovely LaJuan

Glenn Loury • 2579 implied HN points • 09 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Marriage Personal Growth Emotional Expression Life reflections
  1. Marriage can grow and deepen over time, just like how the love shared between partners can become stronger with each passing year.
  2. It's important to cherish and appreciate your partner, recognizing the unique qualities that make them special.
  3. Commitment in a relationship means treating each other as equals and always showing love and respect.

The Strange Grief of Losing a Dog

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 876 implied HN points • 30 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Grief Family Pets Memory
  1. Losing a pet, especially a dog, can lead to deep feelings of grief and loneliness. Coming home to the absence of a beloved dog can be especially hard.
  2. Grief can feel different depending on who we lose. Each relationship shapes our feelings of loss in unique ways, whether it’s a child, friend, parent, or pet.
  3. Holidays often bring back memories of lost loved ones, including pets. These times can stir up both sweet memories and painful feelings of absence.

Why (Some) Women are Attracted to Violent Men

Rob Henderson's Newsletter • 1780 implied HN points • 10 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Psychology Sociology Relationships Gender Studies Evolutionary Theory
  1. Some women are attracted to violent men because they see them as strong and dominant. This can come from an evolutionary perspective where strength was a key survival trait.
  2. The attraction to harmful partners can also stem from personal experiences or a desire for excitement. Some individuals may find thrill in risky relationships.
  3. Cultural influences play a big role in shaping preferences. Media often glamorizes violent behavior, which can affect what people find appealing.

Your Interesting Friend

Culture Study • 1872 implied HN points • 20 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Friendship Relationships Socialization Community Personal Stories
  1. It's valuable to look closely at our friendships, especially those with unexpected people. You might find deeper connections than you thought.
  2. Some of the best friendships can come from surprising places, like people we don’t usually connect with. These relationships can teach us a lot.
  3. Exploring what makes friends interesting can help us understand ourselves and others better. It's a fun exercise to share these stories.

some things I learned about love this year

bookbear express • 941 implied HN points • 29 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Literature Relationships Friendship Personal Growth Media
  1. It's okay to have imperfect friendships. Just keep in touch and stay in each other's lives, even if it's not perfect.
  2. Conflict in relationships isn't as scary as it seems. Listening to each other can strengthen your bonds.
  3. Love and life can be uncertain and scary, but that's normal. Embrace change and find people who want to explore with you.

Friday Thread: How Are You Planning For Your Senescence?

Culture Study • 2321 implied HN points • 13 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Aging Retirement Wellness Relationships
  1. It's important to think about how you will take care of yourself as you get older. Planning for your elder years can help ease worries and create a sense of security.
  2. Many people learn valuable lessons from watching loved ones age. These experiences can guide how we approach our own aging.
  3. Retirement planning is a common concern. It's good to think about your financial future and make a plan so you can enjoy your later years.

No, incels, women are not “too shallow”

Sex and the State • 24 implied HN points • 09 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Gender Issues Relationships Social norms Masculinity Feminism
  1. Women value different traits than looks when choosing partners. They often prioritize status over physical appearance.
  2. The idea that women are too shallow for ugly men is not true. Most women don't typically have casual sex with anyone, regardless of looks.
  3. Improving social skills and personality can lead to better relationships. Many men focus too much on looks instead of what really matters in attracting partners.

Every kid deserves an Aunt Bobbie

The Watch • 1178 implied HN points • 07 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Identity Relationships Aging Personal Growth Family
  1. Every kid needs someone outside their family who believes in them. This support can help them feel valued and understood.
  2. Having a close relationship with a quirky and caring mentor can enrich a child's life. These special people can inspire us and create lasting memories.
  3. Even if you don't have kids, you can still make a positive impact on younger generations. Being a supportive figure can make a difference in their lives, just like Aunt Bobbie did.

The Ick List

Many Such Cases • 2877 implied HN points • 27 Aug 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Emotions Social media Gender Dynamics
  1. Desire can be confusing and change quickly. People might feel attracted to someone one moment and then completely turned off the next because of small things.
  2. The feeling called 'the ick' can stop attraction suddenly for many, especially women, making it hard for them to stay interested in someone for minor reasons.
  3. Labeling minor annoyances as 'icks' can lead to unrealistic expectations in dating. It's often better to relax and not take these little things too seriously.

How to Show Up For Your Friends Without Kids — and How to Show Up For Kids and Their Parents

Culture Study • 5719 implied HN points • 13 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Community Relationships Parenting Self-care Social norms
  1. Many people feel left out or lonely, regardless of their life situation. It's important to remember that everyone has their own struggles and we should support each other instead of comparing who's worse off.
  2. People want and need help, but often don’t ask for it. We need to communicate better about how we can support each other in our daily lives.
  3. Building and maintaining friendships takes effort and can be messy. Sometimes it's not fun, but it's valuable because it helps us feel connected and cared for.

Top Quickies of the year: Poly people, Kendrick/Drake, therapy, & more

The Rubesletter by Matt Ruby (of Vooza) | Sent every Tuesday • 213 implied HN points • 03 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Arts Media Entertainment Lifestyle Relationships
  1. There's a new standup special coming soon on YouTube, and you can join a live Q&A during its premiere.
  2. The post highlights some interesting topics from the past year, including polyamory and popular music.
  3. You can stream the full standup special now for a small fee if you're eager to watch it right away.

#198: Trying to see something

Maybe Baby • 2172 implied HN points • 02 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Art Mindfulness Self-reflection Gratitude
  1. Over time, people in relationships can notice their differences more than their similarities. It's interesting how our perceptions shift as we get to know someone deeply.
  2. Our appreciation for what we have can fade into the background. It's important to regularly take a moment to recognize and be grateful for the good things in our lives.
  3. Creating or experiencing art can help us appreciate life more fully. It reminds us of sensations we've forgotten and can open our eyes to new feelings and perspectives.

two new YouTube video essays!

Switch Hitter • 438 implied HN points • 15 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Media Feminism Celebrity Transgender Relationships
  1. New YouTube videos explore parasocial relationships and gender issues. They look closely at how fans' behavior can mimic harassment.
  2. One video challenges the idea that trans people reinforce gender stereotypes. It argues that this view is based on flawed logic and double standards.
  3. There are plans for more video essays in the future, covering various topics. The creator is still committed to writing while expanding to video content.

Palm Beach, Friendship Paradox, Personality and Eating

Rob Henderson's Newsletter • 1231 implied HN points • 03 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Psychology Social Status Relationships Personality Behavior Happiness
  1. Women with tattoos might be more open to casual relationships and tend to enjoy new experiences more than those without tattoos.
  2. Going to religious services regularly can make people happier than having a lot of money, showing the power of community and connection.
  3. Good-looking people are often seen as more trustworthy and capable, which can even influence how they're treated in court.

Abusers In Plain Sight

Culture Study • 3937 implied HN points • 10 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Literature Relationships Feminism Trauma Identity
  1. Writing about trauma can bring up a lot of painful memories. It's important to realize that revisiting these experiences requires healing and self-reflection.
  2. Women often feel pressured to maintain relationships through hard work, which can lead to toxic situations. It's crucial to understand when it's time to leave a damaging relationship.
  3. There are many layers to women's experiences of desire and consent in relationships. It’s important to have open conversations about what that looks like and to support each other in understanding our needs.

A Tale from the Friend Zone

Bet On It • 135 implied HN points • 03 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Personal Growth Philosophy Life Stories Self-help
  1. Sometimes, people see you as a friend and not a partner, and it's important to accept that. Trying to change their mind often doesn't work.
  2. Many people end up staying friends even when they have feelings for someone, which can lead to regrets later on. It's crucial to recognize when to move on.
  3. Reflecting on past relationships can bring up feelings of regret, especially when we realize things about people we once cared for. It's a part of life.

Daddy Died a MAGA

The View from Rural Missouri by Jess Piper • 31690 implied HN points • 12 Feb 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Personal Story Political Impact Legacy Relationships Trumpism
  1. The impact of political beliefs on personal relationships can be significant, even leading to estrangement and deep regrets.
  2. People's views and behaviors can drastically change, especially in response to political figures, causing distress and confusion for loved ones.
  3. The legacy a person leaves behind is shaped by their words and actions, emphasizing the importance of fostering positive connections and memories.

The woman behind the viral Texas breakup speaks

Taylor Lorenz's Newsletter • 3941 implied HN points • 23 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Social media Relationships Digital Communication Youth culture
  1. A musician named Jillian Lavin shared her painful breakup story, where she moved to Texas for her boyfriend, who later ended things with a note. Her video went viral, sparking lots of reactions online.
  2. Different social media platforms reacted differently to Lavin's story. People on Twitter were harsher, while those on Instagram showed more compassion and understanding.
  3. Lavin expressed that despite her viral fame, she'd give it up to be back with her ex-boyfriend, highlighting the emotional toll of the breakup and the public's reaction.

Lessons from Christmas Puzzles

Rethinking Software • 299 implied HN points • 16 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Lifestyle Hobbies Relationships Mindfulness Creativity
  1. Starting a new task requires laying a good foundation, like sorting puzzle pieces before building the picture. Once you get into it, things start fitting together more smoothly.
  2. It’s important to pause and appreciate your progress. Sometimes you need someone else to help you see how far you’ve come.
  3. When you're tired, take a break. You can solve problems much quicker when your mind is fresh, rather than pushing through fatigue.

Desire Digest 003

Many Such Cases • 1538 implied HN points • 16 Aug 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Identity Mental health Social media
  1. There is a big difference between how men and women view desire in relationships. Women may see a proposal of marriage as a compliment, while men might feel it's a slight to their sexual appeal.
  2. Some dating apps are finding success by limiting choices, like allowing only one match at a time. This could show that less choice might lead to better connections.
  3. There's a push for more honest conversations about mental health and relationships. Many people feel more disconnected despite talking a lot about mental health awareness.

Harvard, Dog and Cat People, Casual Sex

Rob Henderson's Newsletter • 1458 implied HN points • 08 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Social Behavior Psychology Education Arts Relationships
  1. Women tend to feel more loneliness and regret after casual sex, while men generally feel happier and more satisfied.
  2. In the Soviet Union, educated people were more supportive of communism compared to those with less education, showing that privilege can influence political beliefs.
  3. Trust levels vary by nationality; only a small percentage of Chinese citizens trust those from different countries, while much higher percentages in Germany, the US, and Australia do.

Desire Digest 004

Many Such Cases • 519 implied HN points • 05 Sep 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social Trends Gender Studies Youth culture Sexuality
  1. Many young women are feeling let down by casual sex, with issues like non-consensual choking becoming more common. There seems to be a gap between what some women want and what men think they want.
  2. There's a noticeable trend of Gen Z pushing back against intimate scenes in films. This could be reflecting their real-life attitudes towards relationships and intimacy.
  3. The author is aiming to create a more interactive newsletter experience, involving live discussions and advice columns, making it a more engaging space for readers.

frames

bookbear express • 1227 implied HN points • 20 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Social Behavior Relationships Self-Identity Communication Skills
  1. Everyone has a 'frame' that guides how they act in different situations. It's like a set of personal rules for how to interact with others.
  2. Frames are important in relationships as they define how two people agree to behave towards each other. If one person changes their behavior suddenly, it can be confusing and upsetting.
  3. A good frame is consistent and supportive, helping you express who you are while also managing your emotions and impulses in a healthy way.

what I learned this year about love and work

bookbear express • 588 implied HN points • 09 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Community Personal Growth Relationships Creativity Writing Work-life balance
  1. Writing brings joy and a sense of fulfillment, and it's important to keep exploring what works best for you in this creative space.
  2. Building connections and helping others find love enriches life and can create a strong sense of community.
  3. Navigating conflicts in relationships gets easier with practice, and focusing on reducing tension can lead to more peaceful interactions.

do we ever get over things?

bookbear express • 1574 implied HN points • 08 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Vulnerability Identity Emotions Personal Growth
  1. It's normal to feel sadness when friendships end or drift apart. We often care deeply about our friends' lives, which makes the loss feel even more intense.
  2. Acceptance is key when dealing with the lasting impact of love for others. Even if we move on, the love we had for someone remains a part of us.
  3. Vulnerability can actually make us stronger. By allowing ourselves to feel deeply and openly, we can create more meaningful connections with others.

It's Coming Around Again

Disaffected Newsletter • 2697 implied HN points • 06 Jul 24
🎭️ Culture Family Grief Community Death Relationships
  1. Steve is in a peaceful place as he approaches the end of his life, and he feels comforted by the presence of his late wife, Lisa.
  2. Family and friends are coming together to support each other during this difficult time, showing a warm, loving environment.
  3. The narrator reflects on their experience with family gatherings, realizing that not all families have to be filled with conflict and drama.

Death by Situationship

Many Such Cases • 8892 implied HN points • 21 Mar 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Relationships Social media Sexuality Gender
  1. Situationships are confusing romantic bonds that lack clear definitions, leaving people feeling stuck and unfulfilled. Many young people find themselves in these types of relationships instead of committed ones.
  2. Surveys show that situationships often lead to heartache, especially among younger generations. Many people end up feeling emotionally drained and hurt since these relationships usually don't meet their needs.
  3. The rise of digital communication has impacted how we form connections, making it easier to avoid real intimacy. Overall, situationships seem to reflect a broader struggle with genuine relationships and emotional honesty.

Bring Back Meeting In Real Life

Many Such Cases • 3876 implied HN points • 30 May 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Social norms Technology Communication Relationships
  1. Meeting people in real life is important for dating. We should go back to how relationships used to form through friends and social gatherings.
  2. Technology has made dating complicated. We often get overwhelmed by online options and forget to connect with people around us.
  3. It's time to face our fears about dating. We need to be more open and willing to talk to others, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

The hardest thing about adulthood

Residual Thoughts • 99 implied HN points • 18 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Personal Growth Career Choices Relationships Life philosophy Self-reflection
  1. As adults, it's often harder to know what we truly want rather than just getting it. This can lead to feelings of being lost or unsure about our life direction.
  2. Many people struggle to balance prestige and lifestyle when choosing a career. It can be tough to figure out what matters more to you.
  3. One way to deal with uncertainty is to understand yourself better through reflection. Alternatively, you can choose something and fully commit to it, which might lead to more fulfillment.