The hottest Relationships Substack posts right now

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against narrative

internet princess • 50282 implied HN points • 21 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Narrative Emotion Identity Art
  1. Love can be really complicated and messy, and it's common to have both good and painful experiences in a relationship. Sometimes we find ourselves questioning if we were good or bad partners.
  2. People often want to turn their experiences into neat stories to make sense of them, but real feelings and relationships are much more complex and can't always fit into a simple narrative.
  3. Accepting the complexity of our emotions and experiences, rather than just trying to find answers, can be liberating and help us truly live with our feelings.

Is it revolutionary to leave a marriage?

Maybe Baby • 602 implied HN points • 19 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Marriage Relationships Personal Growth Social Commentary
  1. Leaving a marriage can be seen as a bold and revolutionary act. It often requires courage and self-reflection.
  2. Not every breakup is the answer for everyone, but some people can find inspiration from those who share their experiences.
  3. There can be practical advice for those considering a breakup, which may help them feel supported in their decision.

Ask a Divorced Person (in 2025)

Culture Study • 2795 implied HN points • 19 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Divorce Parenting Mental health Social Dynamics
  1. Divorce can be a positive step for people in unhealthy relationships. It can bring freedom and greatly improve overall happiness.
  2. It's normal to feel guilty and uncertain about wanting a divorce, but it's important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being.
  3. Communication about feelings and the state of a relationship is key. Talking openly with a partner can help clarify whether to stay or leave.

35

Erik Torenberg's Thoughts • 1848 implied HN points • 13 Feb 25
🏥 Health & Wellness Mental health Personal Development Relationships Self-care Emotional Intelligence
  1. Take responsibility for your actions and choices. Instead of blaming others or circumstances, focus on how you can respond and change going forward.
  2. Develop an abundance mindset by wanting others to succeed. When you help others, it creates a positive cycle that often leads to you benefiting too.
  3. It's never too late to change or start something new. Every day is a chance to make improvements in your life and relationships.

A Manifesto in Defense of Courtship

The Honest Broker • 25333 implied HN points • 15 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships History Literature Philosophy Tradition
  1. Courtship has been important for a long time in helping couples come together. It gives a structured way to build a relationship over time.
  2. Following the rules of courtship helps both people become better and more attractive. It builds respect and courtesy, really laying a good foundation for a future together.
  3. In today's fast-paced dating world, finding love can be harder despite all the dating apps. Slowing down and embracing courtship might help create more meaningful connections.
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An open letter to 56 people I know

Sasha's 'Newsletter' • 4473 implied HN points • 06 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Friendship Self-reflection Personal Growth Communication
  1. It's important to recognize and appreciate the goodness in yourself, even if it's hard to see. Everyone has value, and it's essential to remind ourselves of that.
  2. Friendship can deeply impact our lives, providing support during tough times and helping us grow. A genuine connection can make us feel normal and understood.
  3. We often admire others for their unique talents and perspectives, which might inspire us to reflect on our strengths and insecurities. It's great to have people in our lives who challenge and motivate us.

La phobie de l’engagement n’existe pas

L'Atelier Galita • 139 implied HN points • 31 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social norms Gender Studies Psychology Personal Development
  1. The idea of commitment phobia is often exaggerated; many people just avoid serious relationships with specific partners. It's not that they fear commitment overall, but rather with certain individuals.
  2. Men often know quickly if they want a serious relationship, but may take advantage of women's hesitation to express their desires.
  3. While a few people may genuinely have a fear of commitment, they are much less common than people think.

What Sexual Liberation Really Looks Like

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1794 implied HN points • 15 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Feminism Sexuality Society Gender Relationships
  1. Hookup culture mainly helps men while often making things harder for women. It's important to recognize how this affects women's experiences.
  2. Casual sex isn't necessarily a good thing for women, and deeper connections with partners can lead to more fulfilling relationships.
  3. Not all sexual desires should be acted on, and women don't have to participate in hookup culture just because it's popular.

Low Stakes Thread: Parasocial Pet Relationships

Culture Study • 1513 implied HN points • 14 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Pets Social media Lifestyle Community
  1. People can have strong feelings for pets or animals they see regularly, even if they don't own them. It's nice to name them and feel connected to them, like calling a horse you see often by a special name.
  2. These relationships with animals can bring joy and comfort without much risk or commitment. They can make our daily routines feel more special and personal.
  3. Parasocial pet relationships highlight how we can connect emotionally with animals, just like we do with people, even if it's from a distance. It's a fun way to share experiences and stories about our furry friends.

Lonely Charts Personals ... or Chartbook 352, the Valentine's edition.

Chartbook • 414 implied HN points • 14 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Art Literature Relationships Media Social Commentary
  1. People shared personal ads looking for romantic or meaningful connections, often with quirky and creative descriptions. It's a fun way to meet others who share similar interests.
  2. The ads covered a wide range of backgrounds and preferences, from academic and professional interests to unique hobbies and personal values. This shows the diversity of experiences people are looking for in relationships.
  3. There is a light-hearted, humorous tone throughout the personal ads, making it clear that many are just looking to have fun and enjoy the process of connecting with others.

Calling the Lonely Charts Club!

Chartbook • 801 implied HN points • 11 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Arts Literature Relationships Society Politics
  1. There's a fun initiative where people can create personal ads looking for partners who share similar interests, especially in political economy and culture.
  2. The project encourages creativity in writing these ads, making them unique and tailored to individual preferences.
  3. People can submit their ads anonymously through a Google form, making it easier to express themselves.

relationship puzzles

bookbear express • 423 implied HN points • 20 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Communication Self-help Personal Growth Emotional Intelligence
  1. Love can be found in imperfect partners, and it's okay for no one to meet all your needs. Relationships can look different for everyone, and being descriptive rather than judgmental can help you support your friends better.
  2. Feelings can change quickly, and it's important to give yourself grace when you're feeling vulnerable or anxious. Instead of overthinking, try acknowledging your emotions and give yourself some time to process them.
  3. Communicating directly about how someone makes you feel can help ease your anxiety. It's okay to express your needs and concerns in relationships, as everyone can feel clingy or needy sometimes.

Love Grows

The Map is Mostly Water • 1643 implied HN points • 08 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Art Media Philosophy Self-development
  1. Love isn't just something that happens to you; it's something you actively work on. Like tending a garden, you have to put in effort to help love grow.
  2. Many people have a casual attitude about love, thinking it will just appear by chance. This mindset can lead to a sense of helplessness in relationships.
  3. Introspection is important, but it needs to be paired with action. If you want love in your life, you have to take initiative and make choices to nurture it.

The Free Press in Love

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1136 implied HN points • 14 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Romance Relationships Personal Stories Narratives
  1. Love can be found in the most unexpected places, like rooftops and newsrooms. It's about recognizing those moments wherever they happen.
  2. Childhood crushes can leave a lasting impression. Even years later, we remember the special feelings we had for that one person.
  3. Jealousy can be a real emotion, especially for kids. It shows how much we care about those we like, even if we don't express it openly.

It’s okay NOT to talk about politics

Civic Renaissance with Alexandra Hudson • 299 implied HN points • 27 Oct 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Elections Discourse Civility Relationships Society
  1. It's perfectly fine to avoid political discussions. There are many other topics that can keep conversations lively and enjoyable without politics.
  2. If someone brings up politics too often, it's okay to change the subject. Refreshing conversations can help strengthen relationships.
  3. Choosing civility and kindness in discussions is more important than focusing solely on political views. Focusing on shared interests can help maintain harmony in relationships.

Friday Thread: Later Loves

Culture Study • 3244 implied HN points • 31 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Personal Stories Aging Experiences
  1. Life is long, and there are many chances to find love at different stages. People can experience deep connections even after major life changes.
  2. It's refreshing to step away from society's relationship expectations. This freedom allows individuals to explore love on their own terms.
  3. Hearing stories about second and third loves can be inspiring for those in later life. It shows that love can come in many forms and at any age.

Will Your AI Agent Be Your Friend or Lover Too?

Big Technology • 5003 implied HN points • 17 Jan 25
🕹 Technology AI Companionship Innovation Relationships Ethics
  1. AI agents might become more than just helpers and could turn into friends or even romantic partners. This shift changes how we think about our relationships with technology.
  2. Apps like Replika are making AI companions more connected to our daily lives, helping us in personal ways like watching movies or suggesting breaks from social media.
  3. While AI companionship can help with loneliness, it also comes with risks and emotional challenges, highlighting the need for trust in these relationships.

Seven Years of Lovely LaJuan

Glenn Loury • 2579 implied HN points • 09 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Marriage Personal Growth Emotional Expression Life reflections
  1. Marriage can grow and deepen over time, just like how the love shared between partners can become stronger with each passing year.
  2. It's important to cherish and appreciate your partner, recognizing the unique qualities that make them special.
  3. Commitment in a relationship means treating each other as equals and always showing love and respect.

The Dark Side of Desire

Rob Henderson's Newsletter • 3087 implied HN points • 18 May 25
🎭️ Culture Dating Psychology Relationships Sociology Evolution
  1. Women can sometimes be attracted to 'bad boys' or violent men due to evolutionary instincts. It's thought that women may view these traits as indicators of strength, which could help protect their own offspring.
  2. Similarities in education, political beliefs, and values are key factors in choosing romantic partners. People generally gravitate towards those who share common backgrounds and life goals.
  3. Improving physical health and social skills can boost attractiveness. Taking care of yourself in terms of grooming and fitness, along with building social connections, can make a big difference in dating.

Girl Belongs to the World

Richard Hanania's Newsletter • 2096 implied HN points • 18 May 25
🎭️ Culture Parenting Humor Social Behavior Child development Relationships
  1. Kids have a moment when they realize they are joking, which shows a shift in their social understanding. It's fun to see their expressions change as they enter this new playful space.
  2. Adults can joke without needing a clear transition, showing sophistication in humor. This helps keep conversations lively and engaging.
  3. As a parent, kids may see you as a tool for fun or food, and they'll get more independent as they grow. Children can quickly shift from playful to serious, showing their cleverness in social interactions.

The opt-out revolution

Men Yell at Me • 338 implied HN points • 04 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Society Gender Identity Literature
  1. Many young people today are choosing to 'opt-out' of dating and relationships, feeling overwhelmed by the pressures and difficulties they face. This shift is different from past generations, where dating was more common.
  2. Melissa Febos explores her year of celibacy in her book _The Dry Season_, looking for a way to find happiness and fulfillment without relying on relationships. She seeks to understand if a woman can truly be happy independently.
  3. This cultural shift raises questions about personal happiness and societal expectations. People are now examining what it means to find joy outside of traditional relationships and roles.

40 Thoughts On Turning 40 | #287

Boundless by Paul Millerd • 489 implied HN points • 10 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Personal Growth Relationships Parenting
  1. Making big life changes can be really scary, but they often lead to positive outcomes. It's never too early to take risks and explore what truly makes you happy.
  2. Finding work that you love can take time, but it's worth the effort. Good work should feel fulfilling not just now, but also when you look back on it.
  3. Parenting is tough and full of surprises, but it's also incredibly rewarding. It reminds you to embrace joy, learn from your children, and focus on what's really important in life.

worldbuilding

bookbear express • 396 implied HN points • 13 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Dating Relationships Personal Growth Writing Community
  1. Being a matchmaker can be very intense, mixing excitement with a lot of pressure. It's about connecting people and making a real difference in their lives.
  2. The process of matchmaking requires understanding people's personalities and emotions deeply. It can feel overwhelming, but these feelings can also be a strength in this work.
  3. Hosting events, like a Valentine's party, can be fun but also nerve-wracking. It's about creating opportunities for people to meet and connect, which feels rewarding and special.

My friend, JT

Basta’s Notes • 245 implied HN points • 22 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Pets Relationships Mental health Lifestyle Personal Stories
  1. Having a pet can be really meaningful. They can become important parts of our lives and provide comfort through tough times.
  2. Moving pets to new homes can be challenging. It takes preparation and sometimes a little help from professionals to make the experience smoother.
  3. Pets age and it can be hard to accept. While it's sad to think about losing them, it's important to cherish every moment and the joy they bring.

First World Problems: Dating

Fake Noûs • 165 implied HN points • 16 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Society Gender Mental health Lifestyle
  1. Finding a partner is a big problem for many people today. This problem is tough because of differing desires between men and women, leading to frustration and dissatisfaction.
  2. The issue of being single can lead to serious feelings of loneliness and even increase the risk of suicide among men. This need for connection is felt deeply and can have major consequences.
  3. Potential solutions to the dating problem might include technology like robot partners, or even changing how we feel through drugs or genetic engineering. These ideas could help ease the pain of being single.

some thoughts on friendship

bookbear express • 770 implied HN points • 06 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Friendship Relationships Personal Growth Social Dynamics Communication
  1. True friendship can feel like a marriage, taking time to develop and evolve. It's important to appreciate the journey of getting to know each other deeply over the years.
  2. Making friends is a lot like dating, with excitement and a bit of uncertainty. It takes time to figure out the friendship dynamics and sometimes requires patience to see if it grows.
  3. Friendship can be asymmetrical; one person may want more closeness than the other. It's okay to feel hurt by this, but it's also essential to recognize that not all friendships will be balanced.

The Typical Man Disgusts the Typical Woman

Bet On It • 2621 implied HN points • 13 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social norms Gender Studies Psychology Evolutionary Theory
  1. Men and women often have very different views on attractiveness. Most men rate women highly, but many women rate men much lower.
  2. Rejection isn't just personal; it's often about general trends in attraction. Women may reject many men because they generally find most men less appealing.
  3. Both men and women can improve their dating experiences. Men can work on personal grooming and manners, while women can try to appreciate qualities like charm and humor more.

The Ick List

Many Such Cases • 2877 implied HN points • 27 Aug 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Emotions Social media Gender Dynamics
  1. Desire can be confusing and change quickly. People might feel attracted to someone one moment and then completely turned off the next because of small things.
  2. The feeling called 'the ick' can stop attraction suddenly for many, especially women, making it hard for them to stay interested in someone for minor reasons.
  3. Labeling minor annoyances as 'icks' can lead to unrealistic expectations in dating. It's often better to relax and not take these little things too seriously.

The Red-Pill Delusion About Women

Erik Examines • 89 implied HN points • 23 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Gender Studies Relationships Feminism Social Commentary Psychology
  1. Women have always been active in choosing their partners, not just passive victims. Relationships involve love and emotional connections, not just power dynamics.
  2. Both men and women experience sexual desire, and female desire is often influenced by emotional connections and cultural factors. It's wrong to see women as simply waiting for men to take charge.
  3. Modern dating challenges are not because women are too free, but because some men struggle with women's independence and equality. Healthy relationships should be based on mutual respect and understanding.

Seeking: Dating advice

Maybe Baby • 750 implied HN points • 29 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Dating Advice Social Lifestyle
  1. Sometimes, it helps to get different perspectives on personal questions. Asking friends or readers can lead to great advice.
  2. Everyone has unique experiences that can inform their advice. Sharing questions publicly can bring in valuable insights.
  3. It's okay to not have all the answers yourself. Leaning on a community for support and guidance can be really beneficial.

two new YouTube video essays!

Switch Hitter • 438 implied HN points • 15 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Media Feminism Celebrity Transgender Relationships
  1. New YouTube videos explore parasocial relationships and gender issues. They look closely at how fans' behavior can mimic harassment.
  2. One video challenges the idea that trans people reinforce gender stereotypes. It argues that this view is based on flawed logic and double standards.
  3. There are plans for more video essays in the future, covering various topics. The creator is still committed to writing while expanding to video content.

The Uber Driver Ratings Theory of Happiness

That Damn Optimist • 146 implied HN points • 03 Jun 25
📖 Philosophy Happiness Self-Improvement Mindset Relationships Perspective
  1. Drivers who rated their experiences positively often didn't see problems as a big deal. They focused more on the good aspects of driving, which helped improve their overall happiness.
  2. Building healthy relationships and having a sense of purpose were important for many drivers. They often mentioned doing their job for their families or to support side projects they loved.
  3. Shifting focus from personal problems to being curious about others can help reduce feelings of unhappiness. Engaging with others can remind us that our own problems might not be as significant.

Daddy Died a MAGA

The View from Rural Missouri by Jess Piper • 31690 implied HN points • 12 Feb 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Personal Story Political Impact Legacy Relationships Trumpism
  1. The impact of political beliefs on personal relationships can be significant, even leading to estrangement and deep regrets.
  2. People's views and behaviors can drastically change, especially in response to political figures, causing distress and confusion for loved ones.
  3. The legacy a person leaves behind is shaped by their words and actions, emphasizing the importance of fostering positive connections and memories.

A Valentine’s Poem

Southern Belle • 22 implied HN points • 14 Feb 25
⛪ Faith & Spirituality Poetry Love Trust Relationships Faith
  1. Love can start quickly, but it often brings challenges along the way. It's important to recognize that tough times can deepen your bond.
  2. Every painful experience has value and contributes to the strength of your relationship. It’s about finding meaning in the hardships.
  3. Trust in a higher power can help you navigate through difficult moments. True love flourishes when you rely on each other and embrace faith.

Be It Resolved!

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 2156 implied HN points • 31 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Personal Growth Creative Writing Relationships Self-reflection Mindfulness
  1. Make time to appreciate the beautiful things around you every day. It can really lift your spirits and change your perspective.
  2. Focus on writing more deeply and ambitiously. Challenge yourself to explore new forms of writing you haven't tried before.
  3. Invest in your friendships by regularly reaching out and making plans. Being a good friend can bring joy to both you and those you care about.

How to Show Up For Your Friends Without Kids — and How to Show Up For Kids and Their Parents

Culture Study • 5719 implied HN points • 13 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Community Relationships Parenting Self-care Social norms
  1. Many people feel left out or lonely, regardless of their life situation. It's important to remember that everyone has their own struggles and we should support each other instead of comparing who's worse off.
  2. People want and need help, but often don’t ask for it. We need to communicate better about how we can support each other in our daily lives.
  3. Building and maintaining friendships takes effort and can be messy. Sometimes it's not fun, but it's valuable because it helps us feel connected and cared for.

Desire Digest 003

Many Such Cases • 1538 implied HN points • 16 Aug 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Identity Mental health Social media
  1. There is a big difference between how men and women view desire in relationships. Women may see a proposal of marriage as a compliment, while men might feel it's a slight to their sexual appeal.
  2. Some dating apps are finding success by limiting choices, like allowing only one match at a time. This could show that less choice might lead to better connections.
  3. There's a push for more honest conversations about mental health and relationships. Many people feel more disconnected despite talking a lot about mental health awareness.

Friday Thread: How Are You Planning For Your Senescence?

Culture Study • 2321 implied HN points • 13 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Aging Retirement Wellness Relationships
  1. It's important to think about how you will take care of yourself as you get older. Planning for your elder years can help ease worries and create a sense of security.
  2. Many people learn valuable lessons from watching loved ones age. These experiences can guide how we approach our own aging.
  3. Retirement planning is a common concern. It's good to think about your financial future and make a plan so you can enjoy your later years.