The hottest Relationships Substack posts right now

And their main takeaways
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Top Health & Wellness Topics

against narrative

internet princess • 50282 implied HN points • 21 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Narrative Emotion Identity Art
  1. Love can be really complicated and messy, and it's common to have both good and painful experiences in a relationship. Sometimes we find ourselves questioning if we were good or bad partners.
  2. People often want to turn their experiences into neat stories to make sense of them, but real feelings and relationships are much more complex and can't always fit into a simple narrative.
  3. Accepting the complexity of our emotions and experiences, rather than just trying to find answers, can be liberating and help us truly live with our feelings.

The Secret of Good Grandparenting

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1803 implied HN points • 29 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Family Parenting Aging Wisdom Relationships
  1. Let parents raise their kids in their own way without interference. It's important for grandparents to step back and allow their children to parent as they choose.
  2. Grandparenting should be about enjoying time with grandkids rather than giving unsolicited advice. Open communication and support can go a long way.
  3. Every family dynamic is different, and what worked in the past may not apply today. Respecting modern parenting styles and challenges is key for good relationships.

dialectical damage

bookbear express • 1722 implied HN points • 30 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Art Travel Philosophy Literature
  1. Relationships are essential in life, like clothes you can't avoid. The way we interact with others shapes our happiness.
  2. Different styles in relationships often clash. It's important to appreciate not just who someone is, but also how they handle situations.
  3. Love can be both beautiful and challenging. It brings change and growth, but also involves vulnerability and compromise.

Virginity Is the Last Taboo

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1469 implied HN points • 28 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Social Issues Gender Studies Human behavior Relationships Sexuality
  1. Many women feel that virginity carries a strong significance, even in a time when sexual freedom is celebrated. Their experiences and feelings about virginity can vary widely.
  2. The topic of virginity is still considered a taboo in society, creating pressure and expectations around a woman's first sexual experience.
  3. Conversations about virginity often reveal that it can be seen as both a personal experience and a social construct, influencing how women view their own sexuality.

Suzy Weiss: Admit It, Being an Adult Is Hard

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1112 implied HN points • 28 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Education Life Skills Relationships Personal Growth
  1. Many young adults feel unprepared for real life and common tasks, like cooking or handling finances. It's normal to struggle with adult responsibilities.
  2. Workshops and classes focusing on adult skills, like listening and managing relationships, are becoming popular. They help people learn what they missed out on in school.
  3. People today are facing unique challenges, like fewer kids and financial stress. Sharing experiences in community settings can provide support during tough transitions.
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La phobie de l’engagement n’existe pas

L'Atelier Galita • 139 implied HN points • 31 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social norms Gender Studies Psychology Personal Development
  1. The idea of commitment phobia is often exaggerated; many people just avoid serious relationships with specific partners. It's not that they fear commitment overall, but rather with certain individuals.
  2. Men often know quickly if they want a serious relationship, but may take advantage of women's hesitation to express their desires.
  3. While a few people may genuinely have a fear of commitment, they are much less common than people think.

Feminists can center men a little, as a treat

Sex and the State • 44 implied HN points • 23 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Feminism Relationships Gender Studies Intimacy Community
  1. Decentering men is really about building strong connections with others. It's important to have a supportive community instead of relying solely on one person for emotional needs.
  2. Being in a committed relationship can still align with feminist values. It's okay to center a partner if that relationship is healthy and reciprocal.
  3. Love should be about wanting what’s best for each other, even if it means making tough choices. Trust and mutual respect in relationships lead to deeper intimacy.

Belonging While Building

Anima Mundi • 103 implied HN points • 20 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Community Creativity Relationships Leadership Well-being
  1. Creating something meaningful is best done with others. We don't have to build alone and should look for support from those around us.
  2. True belonging comes from being seen for who we are, not just what we do. It's about finding people who understand and appreciate our efforts.
  3. Building relationships based on trust and care helps us grow together. It’s important to find spaces where we feel safe and accepted while we create.

It’s okay NOT to talk about politics

Civic Renaissance with Alexandra Hudson • 299 implied HN points • 27 Oct 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Elections Discourse Civility Relationships Society
  1. It's perfectly fine to avoid political discussions. There are many other topics that can keep conversations lively and enjoyable without politics.
  2. If someone brings up politics too often, it's okay to change the subject. Refreshing conversations can help strengthen relationships.
  3. Choosing civility and kindness in discussions is more important than focusing solely on political views. Focusing on shared interests can help maintain harmony in relationships.

FROM THE VAULT: A Master List of Dating Advice

Default Wisdom • 344 implied HN points • 28 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Dating Relationships Advice Social Dynamics Self-Improvement
  1. Always pay attention to how someone treats you when you're feeling down. It's a good sign if they are supportive.
  2. People will show their true colors over time, so give them a few dates to see who they really are.
  3. Be careful of obsessing over someone; it often reflects your own feelings and needs more than it does about them.

Seven Years of Lovely LaJuan

Glenn Loury • 2579 implied HN points • 09 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Marriage Personal Growth Emotional Expression Life reflections
  1. Marriage can grow and deepen over time, just like how the love shared between partners can become stronger with each passing year.
  2. It's important to cherish and appreciate your partner, recognizing the unique qualities that make them special.
  3. Commitment in a relationship means treating each other as equals and always showing love and respect.

The Dark Side of Desire

Rob Henderson's Newsletter • 3087 implied HN points • 18 May 25
🎭️ Culture Dating Psychology Relationships Sociology Evolution
  1. Women can sometimes be attracted to 'bad boys' or violent men due to evolutionary instincts. It's thought that women may view these traits as indicators of strength, which could help protect their own offspring.
  2. Similarities in education, political beliefs, and values are key factors in choosing romantic partners. People generally gravitate towards those who share common backgrounds and life goals.
  3. Improving physical health and social skills can boost attractiveness. Taking care of yourself in terms of grooming and fitness, along with building social connections, can make a big difference in dating.

Girl Belongs to the World

Richard Hanania's Newsletter • 2096 implied HN points • 18 May 25
🎭️ Culture Parenting Humor Social Behavior Child development Relationships
  1. Kids have a moment when they realize they are joking, which shows a shift in their social understanding. It's fun to see their expressions change as they enter this new playful space.
  2. Adults can joke without needing a clear transition, showing sophistication in humor. This helps keep conversations lively and engaging.
  3. As a parent, kids may see you as a tool for fun or food, and they'll get more independent as they grow. Children can quickly shift from playful to serious, showing their cleverness in social interactions.

E is for Engaged

Trevor Klee’s Newsletter • 1343 implied HN points • 12 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Marriage Relationships Social norms Identity Personal Growth
  1. Marriage offers a unique legal recognition of a relationship, which is still valued despite other ways to have companionship or support.
  2. The desire to commit to a partner is strong, especially in a world where many options are closing and people often feel scattered.
  3. Getting married symbolizes a choice to focus on one person and build a life together, rather than constantly wondering about other possibilities.

The opt-out revolution

Men Yell at Me • 338 implied HN points • 04 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Society Gender Identity Literature
  1. Many young people today are choosing to 'opt-out' of dating and relationships, feeling overwhelmed by the pressures and difficulties they face. This shift is different from past generations, where dating was more common.
  2. Melissa Febos explores her year of celibacy in her book _The Dry Season_, looking for a way to find happiness and fulfillment without relying on relationships. She seeks to understand if a woman can truly be happy independently.
  3. This cultural shift raises questions about personal happiness and societal expectations. People are now examining what it means to find joy outside of traditional relationships and roles.

My friend, JT

Basta’s Notes • 245 implied HN points • 22 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Pets Relationships Mental health Lifestyle Personal Stories
  1. Having a pet can be really meaningful. They can become important parts of our lives and provide comfort through tough times.
  2. Moving pets to new homes can be challenging. It takes preparation and sometimes a little help from professionals to make the experience smoother.
  3. Pets age and it can be hard to accept. While it's sad to think about losing them, it's important to cherish every moment and the joy they bring.

The Ick List

Many Such Cases • 2877 implied HN points • 27 Aug 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Emotions Social media Gender Dynamics
  1. Desire can be confusing and change quickly. People might feel attracted to someone one moment and then completely turned off the next because of small things.
  2. The feeling called 'the ick' can stop attraction suddenly for many, especially women, making it hard for them to stay interested in someone for minor reasons.
  3. Labeling minor annoyances as 'icks' can lead to unrealistic expectations in dating. It's often better to relax and not take these little things too seriously.

The Surprising Pleasures of Widowhood

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1057 implied HN points • 08 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Aging Grief Relationships Personal Growth Wellness
  1. Losing a partner can bring intense feelings, but it can also lead to unexpected happiness and personal growth. Many find that life after loss can be richer than they anticipated.
  2. Being in a support group for caregivers is helpful, as it offers a safe space to share experiences and emotions with others who understand.
  3. Cherishing the good memories and communicating love at the end can bring peace during difficult times and contribute to healing afterward.

A Manifesto in Defense of Courtship

The Honest Broker • 25333 implied HN points • 15 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships History Literature Philosophy Tradition
  1. Courtship has been important for a long time in helping couples come together. It gives a structured way to build a relationship over time.
  2. Following the rules of courtship helps both people become better and more attractive. It builds respect and courtesy, really laying a good foundation for a future together.
  3. In today's fast-paced dating world, finding love can be harder despite all the dating apps. Slowing down and embracing courtship might help create more meaningful connections.

two new YouTube video essays!

Switch Hitter • 438 implied HN points • 15 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Media Feminism Celebrity Transgender Relationships
  1. New YouTube videos explore parasocial relationships and gender issues. They look closely at how fans' behavior can mimic harassment.
  2. One video challenges the idea that trans people reinforce gender stereotypes. It argues that this view is based on flawed logic and double standards.
  3. There are plans for more video essays in the future, covering various topics. The creator is still committed to writing while expanding to video content.

The Uber Driver Ratings Theory of Happiness

That Damn Optimist • 146 implied HN points • 03 Jun 25
📖 Philosophy Happiness Self-Improvement Mindset Relationships Perspective
  1. Drivers who rated their experiences positively often didn't see problems as a big deal. They focused more on the good aspects of driving, which helped improve their overall happiness.
  2. Building healthy relationships and having a sense of purpose were important for many drivers. They often mentioned doing their job for their families or to support side projects they loved.
  3. Shifting focus from personal problems to being curious about others can help reduce feelings of unhappiness. Engaging with others can remind us that our own problems might not be as significant.

who do you go to for advice?

bookbear express • 682 implied HN points • 09 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Friendship Advice Self-Improvement Community
  1. The people you spend time with can influence who you become. It’s okay to think your friends are better than you; it just means you have good company.
  2. Trusting your friends is important for healthy relationships. When you ask them for advice, it helps strengthen your bond.
  3. Friendships take work just like romantic relationships do. Maintaining them is key, and they can be more stable and supportive than romantic connections.

Daddy Died a MAGA

The View from Rural Missouri by Jess Piper • 31690 implied HN points • 12 Feb 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Personal Story Political Impact Legacy Relationships Trumpism
  1. The impact of political beliefs on personal relationships can be significant, even leading to estrangement and deep regrets.
  2. People's views and behaviors can drastically change, especially in response to political figures, causing distress and confusion for loved ones.
  3. The legacy a person leaves behind is shaped by their words and actions, emphasizing the importance of fostering positive connections and memories.

Doing Crimes w my dad

Both Are True • 130 implied HN points • 13 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Family Storytelling Humor Memory Relationships
  1. Spending time with family can lead to funny and memorable moments, like the bonding experience of removing an old TV together. It's special to share laughter and joy while doing something that feels a bit adventurous.
  2. Communication can shift between languages and cultures, as seen in the playful interactions between family members who speak different languages. It's a fun reminder of how language can bring us closer or create a divide.
  3. Inside jokes and shared laughter help strengthen family ties, making ordinary moments more meaningful. Humor can turn a simple task into a cherished memory.

Desire Digest 003

Many Such Cases • 1538 implied HN points • 16 Aug 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Identity Mental health Social media
  1. There is a big difference between how men and women view desire in relationships. Women may see a proposal of marriage as a compliment, while men might feel it's a slight to their sexual appeal.
  2. Some dating apps are finding success by limiting choices, like allowing only one match at a time. This could show that less choice might lead to better connections.
  3. There's a push for more honest conversations about mental health and relationships. Many people feel more disconnected despite talking a lot about mental health awareness.

The Gamble of Meeting New People

Devansh’s Newsletter • 15 implied HN points • 27 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Social Interaction Relationships Art Appreciation Personal Growth Human connection
  1. Meeting new people can be tiring and often feels like a gamble. Most of the time, it doesn't lead to exciting conversations.
  2. But sometimes, you meet someone who surprises you and makes the experience worth it. Those few amazing connections are like hitting the jackpot.
  3. This thrill of meeting new people is addictive because you never know when you'll find that special, fascinating conversation that expands your world.

Desire Digest 004

Many Such Cases • 519 implied HN points • 05 Sep 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social Trends Gender Studies Youth culture Sexuality
  1. Many young women are feeling let down by casual sex, with issues like non-consensual choking becoming more common. There seems to be a gap between what some women want and what men think they want.
  2. There's a noticeable trend of Gen Z pushing back against intimate scenes in films. This could be reflecting their real-life attitudes towards relationships and intimacy.
  3. The author is aiming to create a more interactive newsletter experience, involving live discussions and advice columns, making it a more engaging space for readers.

no, they don't hate you

Both Are True • 111 implied HN points • 10 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Mental health Relationships Self-reflection Personal Growth Creativity
  1. People often worry that others hate them, but they might actually be feeling the same insecurity. It's a common cycle of doubt.
  2. Instead of assuming someone dislikes you, it's better to recognize that they might be preoccupied with their own fears and feelings.
  3. Understanding that both sides might be feeling misunderstood can help break the cycle of negative thoughts and improve relationships.

It's Coming Around Again

Disaffected Newsletter • 2697 implied HN points • 06 Jul 24
🎭️ Culture Family Grief Community Death Relationships
  1. Steve is in a peaceful place as he approaches the end of his life, and he feels comforted by the presence of his late wife, Lisa.
  2. Family and friends are coming together to support each other during this difficult time, showing a warm, loving environment.
  3. The narrator reflects on their experience with family gatherings, realizing that not all families have to be filled with conflict and drama.

A Mate Selection Theory of Feminization

Richard Hanania's Newsletter • 4145 implied HN points • 10 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Gender Studies Social norms Relationships Feminism Marriage
  1. Women often struggle to find a balance between having a high-quality partner and ensuring loyalty. Some prefer to chase after attractive partners, while others focus on stability with someone they can trust.
  2. As societal views on monogamy change, men may adapt by showing more sensitivity and supportive behavior towards women. This can involve acting against traditional masculine stereotypes to prove their loyalty.
  3. The shift in norms around relationships has created two distinct cultural groups: one that embraces traditional masculinity and conservatism, and another that leans towards feminist and liberal values. This has changed how people view gender roles and relationships today.

An open letter to 56 people I know

Sasha's 'Newsletter' • 4473 implied HN points • 06 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Friendship Self-reflection Personal Growth Communication
  1. It's important to recognize and appreciate the goodness in yourself, even if it's hard to see. Everyone has value, and it's essential to remind ourselves of that.
  2. Friendship can deeply impact our lives, providing support during tough times and helping us grow. A genuine connection can make us feel normal and understood.
  3. We often admire others for their unique talents and perspectives, which might inspire us to reflect on our strengths and insecurities. It's great to have people in our lives who challenge and motivate us.

Death by Situationship

Many Such Cases • 8892 implied HN points • 21 Mar 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Relationships Social media Sexuality Gender
  1. Situationships are confusing romantic bonds that lack clear definitions, leaving people feeling stuck and unfulfilled. Many young people find themselves in these types of relationships instead of committed ones.
  2. Surveys show that situationships often lead to heartache, especially among younger generations. Many people end up feeling emotionally drained and hurt since these relationships usually don't meet their needs.
  3. The rise of digital communication has impacted how we form connections, making it easier to avoid real intimacy. Overall, situationships seem to reflect a broader struggle with genuine relationships and emotional honesty.

Bring Back Meeting In Real Life

Many Such Cases • 3876 implied HN points • 30 May 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Social norms Technology Communication Relationships
  1. Meeting people in real life is important for dating. We should go back to how relationships used to form through friends and social gatherings.
  2. Technology has made dating complicated. We often get overwhelmed by online options and forget to connect with people around us.
  3. It's time to face our fears about dating. We need to be more open and willing to talk to others, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

The hardest thing about adulthood

Residual Thoughts • 99 implied HN points • 18 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Personal Growth Career Choices Relationships Life philosophy Self-reflection
  1. As adults, it's often harder to know what we truly want rather than just getting it. This can lead to feelings of being lost or unsure about our life direction.
  2. Many people struggle to balance prestige and lifestyle when choosing a career. It can be tough to figure out what matters more to you.
  3. One way to deal with uncertainty is to understand yourself better through reflection. Alternatively, you can choose something and fully commit to it, which might lead to more fulfillment.

Will Your AI Agent Be Your Friend or Lover Too?

Big Technology • 5003 implied HN points • 17 Jan 25
🕹 Technology AI Companionship Innovation Relationships Ethics
  1. AI agents might become more than just helpers and could turn into friends or even romantic partners. This shift changes how we think about our relationships with technology.
  2. Apps like Replika are making AI companions more connected to our daily lives, helping us in personal ways like watching movies or suggesting breaks from social media.
  3. While AI companionship can help with loneliness, it also comes with risks and emotional challenges, highlighting the need for trust in these relationships.

Dix traits du TDAH

L'Atelier Galita • 59 implied HN points • 20 Oct 24
🏥 Health & Wellness Mental health ADHD Awareness Neurodiversity Self-help Relationships
  1. The book 'Dirty Laundry' explores the dynamic between a person with ADHD and their partner who does not have it. It shows how their different brain types affect their relationship.
  2. The author points out that the neurotypical partner often misunderstands ADHD traits and compares them to their own experiences. This highlights the challenges in understanding each other's perspectives.
  3. It's interesting to note that some behaviors the neurotypical partner attributes to being typical, could actually show characteristics of autism, demonstrating the complexity of neurodiversity.

this is not a love poem

Both Are True • 161 implied HN points • 30 May 25
🎭️ Culture Parenting Relationships Games Philosophy Literature
  1. Having fun together can be a nice break from everyday stress, like parenting. Playing games allows couples to connect without heavy discussions.
  2. Good food and the right atmosphere enhance the experience of enjoying games together. Choosing a cozy spot can make even a simple dinner feel special.
  3. Life can be tough, but small moments like shared games and laughter can bring relief. These simple joys help us cope with the challenges we face.