The hottest Relationships Substack posts right now

And their main takeaways
Category
Top Health & Wellness Topics

if he wanted to, would he really?

Airplane Mode with Liz Plank • 1867 implied HN points • 11 Jan 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Men's behavior in relationships is not always as simple as 'If he wanted to, he would.'
  2. Slogans like 'If he wanted to, he would' may have underlying anti-feminist implications and oversimplify modern dating dynamics.
  3. In today's dating scene, understanding and compassion for both genders can help avoid misunderstandings and improve relationships.

Is friendship romantic?

bookbear express • 363 implied HN points • 03 Dec 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Close friendships can feel romantic because they’re intimate and may create pairbonding, but they usually differ from romances by lacking sexual intimacy, exclusivity, and constant structural closeness like shared living or constant travel.
  2. If you want to date a friend, remember chemistry isn’t the same as compatibility; try gentle moves, respect the other person’s preferences, and practice clear boundaries so rejections don’t become avoidable drama.
  3. A friends-first approach to dating tends to make for healthier long-term relationships because you actually like the person beyond attraction, though dating friends can still risk changing or losing the original friendship.

Two Drinks with. . . a Very Modern Lover

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 343 implied HN points • 06 Dec 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. A long, once-happy marriage can end without being a failure. Partners can part lovingly and see separation as the final, respectful act of a good relationship.
  2. Suggesting separation can be healthy provoked strong online backlash, with many people calling such choices selfish or self-absorbed.
  3. The argument has kicked off a wider cultural debate about modern love and whether divorce must always be viewed as a tragedy or can be a healthy choice.

"Do These People F*ck?"

Many Such Cases • 2877 implied HN points • 18 Oct 23
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. There's a lot of talk about a 'sex recession' where people are feeling less connected sexually. It's hard to measure, but we can sense it in our social lives and gatherings.
  2. People can have sex but still feel a disconnect in their sexual culture. Personal stories show that intimacy and sexual attraction can clash, leading to confusion about what they really want.
  3. Attending events like parties can reflect our sexual energy and culture. Conversations about these topics can help us navigate our sexual lives better.
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Girl Belongs to the World

Richard Hanania's Newsletter • 2096 implied HN points • 18 May 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Kids have a moment when they realize they are joking, which shows a shift in their social understanding. It's fun to see their expressions change as they enter this new playful space.
  2. Adults can joke without needing a clear transition, showing sophistication in humor. This helps keep conversations lively and engaging.
  3. As a parent, kids may see you as a tool for fun or food, and they'll get more independent as they grow. Children can quickly shift from playful to serious, showing their cleverness in social interactions.

A Man Should Know: How to Propose

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 264 implied HN points • 12 Dec 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. A proposal is the first shared decision of a marriage, so it sets the tone for the partnership.
  2. A private proposal can be the best first step toward a happy marriage, valuing intimacy over public spectacle.
  3. Men should prepare and seek practical, experience-based advice so their proposal reflects the relationship’s history and mutual commitment.

affinity

bookbear express • 1122 implied HN points • 07 Aug 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. People often find it hard to determine what they truly like about something. It's easy to focus on the fun parts but miss the bigger picture.
  2. Having a genuine connection or affinity for someone isn't about liking every detail; it's about feeling drawn to them on a deeper level.
  3. It's important to trust your instincts when pursuing interests and relationships. Sometimes you just know what resonates with you, even if you can't explain it.

Women have an essential role to play in dissident movements

Becoming Noble • 1813 implied HN points • 18 Dec 23
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Women play a crucial role in dissident movements by fostering deep bonds, warmth, and alliances in unofficial spaces like social gatherings and dinner parties.
  2. Creating welcoming and warm environments, particularly through shared events like dinner parties, can help in forming connections, shaping society, and nurturing goodwill.
  3. In times of challenge and turmoil, such as during 'civilizational winter,' building strong relationships and providing security through shared experiences like shared meals becomes essential for survival and strength.

The Relation Between Cohabitation and Divorce

David Friedman’s Substack • 260 implied HN points • 14 Dec 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Cohabitation before marriage is linked to higher divorce rates even though it might seem like a way to test compatibility; both who chooses to cohabit (selection) and what cohabitation does to relationships (experience) appear to matter.
  2. Sex and pair-bonding can create strong emotional ties and people tend to heavily prefer present comforts, so living together can make partners settle for someone they might not choose for a lifelong marriage and reduce continued partner search.
  3. Other plausible reasons include pregnancy-driven marriages, carrying cohabitation habits into marriage (inertia), and burnout from longer total time together, and cohort data show the cohabitation–divorce link weakens but still exists after controlling for demographics.

Friday Thread: Later Loves

Culture Study • 3244 implied HN points • 31 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Life is long, and there are many chances to find love at different stages. People can experience deep connections even after major life changes.
  2. It's refreshing to step away from society's relationship expectations. This freedom allows individuals to explore love on their own terms.
  3. Hearing stories about second and third loves can be inspiring for those in later life. It shows that love can come in many forms and at any age.

Virginity Is the Last Taboo

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1469 implied HN points • 28 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Many women feel that virginity carries a strong significance, even in a time when sexual freedom is celebrated. Their experiences and feelings about virginity can vary widely.
  2. The topic of virginity is still considered a taboo in society, creating pressure and expectations around a woman's first sexual experience.
  3. Conversations about virginity often reveal that it can be seen as both a personal experience and a social construct, influencing how women view their own sexuality.

The Case for Dating Abundance

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1126 implied HN points • 02 Aug 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Dating has become a tough battlefield for both men and women, with a lot of frustration and anger in the air. People are struggling to connect and understand each other in romantic relationships.
  2. A recent satire shows how extreme dating frustrations can become, highlighting a woman who takes her date hostage to prove they should be together. This reflects the intense feelings many single women face today.
  3. There's a growing belief that dating is failing, especially for straight people, due to various issues, particularly blaming men. This idea has sparked conversations about the future of relationships.

Fugly

Castalia • 319 implied HN points • 16 Jun 24
📚 Literature Relationships
  1. Brian and Liz have a complicated relationship where they go back and forth between friendship and romance. Their dynamic shows how friendships can sometimes turn into something deeper, even if it’s messy.
  2. Liz’s past with Aaron affects her new relationship with Brian. They both struggle with their feelings and the baggage they carry from previous lovers, highlighting how past experiences can shape present connections.
  3. Despite their ups and downs, Brian and Liz find comfort in each other and eventually decide to live together. Their story reflects how settling for companionship can be a realistic choice for many couples.

Some Thoughts On “Mankeeping”

Singal-Minded • 988 implied HN points • 12 Aug 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Men often struggle to express their emotions healthily, especially to other men. This issue is rooted in how boys are taught to socialize from a young age.
  2. The term 'mankeeping' is seen as dehumanizing and may turn people off. It gives the impression that men are burdensome, which could lead to resistance against this idea.
  3. Future research on 'mankeeping' needs to be done carefully to avoid misunderstandings. It’s important to consider both men's and women's perspectives in relationships to get a complete picture.

From Community To Tribe

The Ruffian • 350 implied HN points • 22 Nov 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Strong ties are important for emotional support, but weak ties with acquaintances are also essential for our mental health and sense of community. They help us feel connected to the wider world and provide new opportunities.
  2. The pandemic, rising living costs, and the allure of staying home have led to a decline in our weak ties. Instead of meeting people in person, we're connecting more online, but this can make our social lives feel less rich.
  3. Online communities, or tribes, differ from real-life communities. While they broaden our networks, they lack the genuine interactions and support found in face-to-face connections.

Ask a Divorced Person (in 2025)

Culture Study • 2795 implied HN points • 19 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Divorce can be a positive step for people in unhealthy relationships. It can bring freedom and greatly improve overall happiness.
  2. It's normal to feel guilty and uncertain about wanting a divorce, but it's important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being.
  3. Communication about feelings and the state of a relationship is key. Talking openly with a partner can help clarify whether to stay or leave.

the life-changing magic of being direct

bookbear express • 941 implied HN points • 17 Aug 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Being direct is important, even if you think the answer will be no. Sometimes you'll be surprised and get a yes!
  2. Expressing your feelings or desires helps you understand yourself better. It creates closure and clarity about what you want.
  3. People who always hold back their thoughts tend to feel frustrated in relationships. True connection needs honesty and being present.

Marriage Markets, Rage Bait, Life-lies

Rob Henderson's Newsletter • 1136 implied HN points • 29 Jul 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Social intelligence helps you interact well with others, but wisdom helps you find what is good for everyone. Just because someone can trick others doesn't mean they are wise.
  2. People are not all the same when it comes to bouncing back from failure. Those who are more open and friendly tend to handle setbacks better.
  3. For women, feeling bad about their body often comes from seeing attractive rivals rather than attention from men. This can lead to unhealthy eating habits.

❤️ I Got Married ❤️

Newcomer • 2378 implied HN points • 10 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Eric Newcomer got married and shared details about his wedding in Hudson Valley.
  2. Technology played a significant role in making the wedding special and memorable.
  3. The wedding was a reminder of the importance of people, love, and relationships over technology.

Of Relationships and 'Rona

Natural Selections • 10 implied HN points • 10 Mar 26
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Lockdowns and rules upended normal life and left many people, especially older people, feeling isolated and lonely.
  2. Small, regular acts of connection — phone calls, messages and visits — can grow into a deep friendship that helps both people feel seen and less alone.
  3. Vaccine mandates and pandemic stigma caused real losses and divisions, including lost roles and jobs, but personal bonds still endured and brought comfort even after loss.

Advice Time! Advice Time!

Culture Study • 2988 implied HN points • 24 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Joining a community can really help lift your spirits. It's nice to feel cared for and connected to others.
  2. You can ask for help on any topic, big or small. People love to share their thoughts and advice from their own experiences.
  3. Helping others is just as important as getting help. Be ready to give advice too, and keep the conversation going.

Intimacy Constraints

Rob Henderson's Newsletter • 1212 implied HN points • 13 Jul 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Romantic relationships often start with intense passion, which may fade over time. It's natural for feelings to change as people get more comfortable with each other.
  2. Understanding why attraction shifts can help couples stay connected and feel more fulfilled in long-term relationships.
  3. Recognizing the social and psychological factors at play can improve how partners navigate their intimacy and emotional bond.

Abusers In Plain Sight

Culture Study • 3937 implied HN points • 10 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Writing about trauma can bring up a lot of painful memories. It's important to realize that revisiting these experiences requires healing and self-reflection.
  2. Women often feel pressured to maintain relationships through hard work, which can lead to toxic situations. It's crucial to understand when it's time to leave a damaging relationship.
  3. There are many layers to women's experiences of desire and consent in relationships. It’s important to have open conversations about what that looks like and to support each other in understanding our needs.

The Celibates, the Gooners and the Moralists

Many Such Cases • 1538 implied HN points • 19 Dec 23
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Many people are calling themselves celibate, but this often doesn't mean they're actually not having sex. Some just like the idea of being celibate because it makes them feel superior or detached from the current sexual culture.
  2. There is a trend of women choosing celibacy due to feeling disrespected in dating. This choice is significant, but it highlights the ongoing problems in the way people relate to each other sexually.
  3. Words around sexuality, like 'gooning', are becoming normalized in everyday conversation. This shift can contribute to a toxic culture, making it important to talk about these topics without judgment and to seek a healthier sexual culture.

Friday Thread: What Were Your Parents Right About?

Culture Study • 1102 implied HN points • 18 Jul 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Parents often have valuable insights that can shape our lives positively. Reflecting on these can strengthen our understanding of them.
  2. Acknowledging when parents are wrong can help improve relationships. It opens the door for honest conversations and growth.
  3. Exploring both the right and wrong things our parents did allows us to learn and grow from our experiences.

E is for Engaged

Trevor Klee’s Newsletter • 1343 implied HN points • 12 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Marriage offers a unique legal recognition of a relationship, which is still valued despite other ways to have companionship or support.
  2. The desire to commit to a partner is strong, especially in a world where many options are closing and people often feel scattered.
  3. Getting married symbolizes a choice to focus on one person and build a life together, rather than constantly wondering about other possibilities.

Show Up For Yourself First

Culture Study • 7951 implied HN points • 18 Feb 24
🏥 Health & Wellness Relationships
  1. Taking care of your own needs first is important to be able to help others effectively.
  2. Liking yourself and spending time alone can lead to better relationships and a more fulfilling life.
  3. Balancing spending time with yourself and with others is essential for overall well-being and maintaining healthy relationships.

how to talk to single people

Airplane Mode with Liz Plank • 1022 implied HN points • 08 Feb 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Single people are a growing population and should be treated with respect and dignity.
  2. Being in a relationship doesn't guarantee happiness, and single people often lead fulfilling lives outside of dating.
  3. Avoid making assumptions about single people's desires and priorities, and focus on celebrating their achievements and providing support.

The Maybe Baby Archive

Maybe Baby • 143 implied HN points • 26 Dec 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. The writing covers a wide range of everyday and big-picture topics — existential life questions, culture, relationships, parenting, work, and mental health. It aims to help readers think through how to live well in modern life.
  2. Content appears in many formats — free essays, advice columns, podcasts, recommendation lists, and even diagrams or invented theories — so readers can choose between personal essays, practical advice, and bite-sized recs.
  3. A clear tagging system and curated samplers make it easy to find pieces by theme or series, with recurring features like recommendation lists and annual community calls to help discovery.

The woman behind the viral Texas breakup speaks

Taylor Lorenz's Newsletter • 3941 implied HN points • 23 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. A musician named Jillian Lavin shared her painful breakup story, where she moved to Texas for her boyfriend, who later ended things with a note. Her video went viral, sparking lots of reactions online.
  2. Different social media platforms reacted differently to Lavin's story. People on Twitter were harsher, while those on Instagram showed more compassion and understanding.
  3. Lavin expressed that despite her viral fame, she'd give it up to be back with her ex-boyfriend, highlighting the emotional toll of the breakup and the public's reaction.

On clarity and mind-reading

Disaffected Newsletter • 2038 implied HN points • 30 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Many people, including myself, really struggle with ambiguity in conversations. It's important to be clear about what we mean so everyone understands.
  2. I insist on defining terms when talking because my past has taught me how harmful unclear expectations can be. If we can't agree on definitions, I won't engage in that conversation.
  3. Today’s world feels more confusing and less trustworthy than ever. It’s not just personal; many others feel the same way about the lack of clarity around communication and social rules.

sunday memepool

bad cattitude • 85 implied HN points • 11 Jan 26
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Finding genuine connection is the central concern.
  2. Dating used to feel simpler, suggesting modern dating is more complicated.
  3. It's time to reconsider long-standing dating practices and how we pursue connection.

Toy shop adultery (edited)

Eclecticism: Reflections on literature, writing and life • 6 implied HN points • 27 Feb 26
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Casual racist comments can appear in ordinary conversations and are particularly jarring because a person's skin colour has nothing to do with private relationships.
  2. Being young or taken aback makes it hard to challenge hurtful views in the moment, and that's an understandable barrier.
  3. Staying silent when you hear prejudice often causes lasting regret, and that regret highlights the value of trying to speak up or respond, even if imperfectly.

Suzy Weiss: Admit It, Being an Adult Is Hard

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1112 implied HN points • 28 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Many young adults feel unprepared for real life and common tasks, like cooking or handling finances. It's normal to struggle with adult responsibilities.
  2. Workshops and classes focusing on adult skills, like listening and managing relationships, are becoming popular. They help people learn what they missed out on in school.
  3. People today are facing unique challenges, like fewer kids and financial stress. Sharing experiences in community settings can provide support during tough transitions.

The Typical Man Disgusts the Typical Woman

Bet On It • 2621 implied HN points • 13 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships
  1. Men and women often have very different views on attractiveness. Most men rate women highly, but many women rate men much lower.
  2. Rejection isn't just personal; it's often about general trends in attraction. Women may reject many men because they generally find most men less appealing.
  3. Both men and women can improve their dating experiences. Men can work on personal grooming and manners, while women can try to appreciate qualities like charm and humor more.