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Sex and the State is a newsletter that delves into issues surrounding sex work, mental health, societal norms, and power dynamics. It explores complex topics like the legality of prostitution, modern work culture, personal stories of growth and hardship, and critiques of political and social systems.

Sex Work Mental Health and Therapy Societal Norms Power Dynamics Politics Personal Growth Relationships Cultural Critique

Top posts of the month

And their main takeaways

Have women ever considered what keeps men from doing better?

70 implied HN points • 12 Jun 25
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Gender Issues Feminism Masculinity Social Policy Cultural norms
  1. Men often feel pressured to conform to traditional masculinity, which can limit their emotional expression. This fear of being vulnerable can lead to negative behaviors.
  2. Both men and women are affected by strict gender roles that can hinder their growth and well-being. Just like women face consequences for breaking norms, men do too.
  3. Changing how men behave requires creating safer spaces for them to express themselves. Blaming men without understanding the risks they face isn't helpful.

Feminists can center men a little, as a treat

44 implied HN points • 23 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Feminism Relationships Gender Studies Intimacy Community
  1. Decentering men is really about building strong connections with others. It's important to have a supportive community instead of relying solely on one person for emotional needs.
  2. Being in a committed relationship can still align with feminist values. It's okay to center a partner if that relationship is healthy and reciprocal.
  3. Love should be about wanting what’s best for each other, even if it means making tough choices. Trust and mutual respect in relationships lead to deeper intimacy.

Everyone wants a male breadwinner

38 implied HN points • 10 Jun 25
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Gender Roles Economic Policy Feminism
  1. Many people still believe in a male breadwinner model where the man earns money while the woman takes care of the home. This belief can create pressure and expectations in relationships.
  2. Research shows that marriages where women earn more than men can lead to more stress and higher chances of divorce. This hints that traditional gender roles still have a strong influence on people's decisions.
  3. Challenging the idea that men should always be the main earners could help improve marriage quality and financial outcomes for families. It's worth reconsidering these old norms for better relationships.

The whoral majority

38 implied HN points • 19 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Morality Religion Society Identity
  1. Many people have a rigid view of morality based on what they were taught as children, which can create discomfort with new ideas.
  2. Prostitution, often viewed negatively, has existed throughout history and can actually provide financial independence and safety when decriminalized.
  3. The author questions the morality of organized religions, especially given their contradictions and failures, and believes that the perspectives of sex workers should be valued more.

The upside to losing my looks

26 implied HN points • 20 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Feminism Beauty Aging Social norms Self-Identity
  1. As I age, I feel less anxiety about my looks, which is a nice change. I no longer feel pressured to always be beautiful like I did in my younger years.
  2. People often say that women lose their beauty and become invisible as they age. But I feel a sense of freedom and relief from that pressure now.
  3. Growing older means less worry about fitting into tight beauty standards. It feels good to let go of those expectations and simply enjoy who I am.
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So you’re a millennial female autist substacking about your special interest

21 implied HN points • 21 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Gender Politics Writing Social media Influence
  1. Choosing a clear topic helps you find your audience better. Having a specific niche makes it easier to write and connect with readers.
  2. Getting attention is crucial for your writing to be read. You can either pay for ads or create content that sparks strong emotions to get more people talking.
  3. Experimenting with different strategies helps you learn what works best for your content. Using advertisements can teach you valuable lessons for your organic outreach later.

Sperm problems aren’t depressing fertility rates. Well, not directly.

21 implied HN points • 17 Jun 25
🏥 Health & Wellness Fertility Men's Health Public Health Nutrition
  1. Sperm problems aren't the main reason for lower fertility rates. People are choosing to have fewer kids rather than being unable to have them.
  2. Many young people are having less sex and this might lead to fewer unexpected pregnancies. This could be related to issues like sperm quality and health.
  3. It's easy to oversimplify why people do or don't want kids. Understanding people's true feelings about family is more complicated than it seems.

Why, actually, I am doing this

16 implied HN points • 13 Jun 25
📚 Literature Writing Publishing Creativity Personal Growth Art
  1. Writing can be both enjoyable and challenging. It's great when it's easy, but sometimes it feels tough.
  2. A helpful way to deal with perfectionism is to just keep trying and not worry about making things perfect.
  3. Finding motivation and reasons to write is important, even if you feel pressure to produce something great.

Would the bad guys fund this?

4 implied HN points • 06 Jun 25
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Political theory Social justice Cultural Commentary Government funding
  1. Naivety can be a strength because it encourages people to take action and try new things. When people know how hard something is, they might not even attempt it.
  2. The CIA reportedly supports left-leaning voices in arts and media, which can shape cultural perspectives. This might make some ideas less popular among the wider public.
  3. Addressing social inequalities is challenging because it's hard to see and understand the existing hierarchies. Making real progress requires careful thought and effort to avoid creating new problems.