Disaffected Newsletter

Disaffected Newsletter explores societal, cultural, and political issues through the lens of personal trauma and abnormal psychology. It discusses manipulation in relationships, the impact of family dynamics, toxic femininity, immigration, political loyalties, modern taboos, and societal divides, offering critiques of contemporary norms and policies.

Societal Divides Cultural Critiques Family Dynamics Politics and Leadership Mental Health Gender and Identity Immigration Media and Public Perception

The hottest Substack posts of Disaffected Newsletter

And their main takeaways

Tell them what they mean to you

1458 implied HN points • 31 May 23
🏥 Health & Wellness Mental health Emotional Wellness Personal reflections
  1. It's important to express how much someone means to you, especially as they approach the end of life. Sharing your feelings can bring comfort to both you and them.
  2. Facing death can be hard, but don't let fear keep you away. Being present, holding hands, and talking about your love can make a difference.
  3. Staying busy with everyday tasks can help ease the burden of grief. Taking care of chores can be a good way to cope with loss.

Race to the Cluster Bottom

879 implied HN points • 27 Sep 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Policy Debate Gender Rights Social movements Public Health
  1. Chris Rufo highlights the rise of extreme behaviors and attitudes in society, like narcissism and hysteria. These traits are becoming more common and accepted.
  2. A school district in Vermont is implementing policies that allow boys to access girls' bathrooms and sports, aiming for inclusivity through gender affirmation.
  3. There is a resurgence of pandemic-like behaviors and attitudes, which some refer to as 'Covidianism'. Discussions around this topic are becoming more intense and critical.

Disaffected, Episode 154

499 implied HN points • 15 Jan 24
🎙 Podcasts Mental health Crime Politics Insurance News
  1. There is a real difference between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, and understanding this can help clarify some public misconceptions.
  2. An update on a recent shooting shows that the shooter, who was initially labeled a right-wing hate criminal, had a different background and mental health issues, challenging assumptions about such incidents.
  3. Infrastructure issues are more than just physical repairs; applying for health insurance can be frustrating and complicated, highlighting the broader problems in the system.

You catch more flies with vinegar

1059 implied HN points • 17 Aug 23
🎭️ Culture Philosophy Society Tradition Language Art
  1. Some common sayings might have their meanings reversed over time. A phrase like 'blood is thicker than water' could mean the opposite of what we think it does.
  2. The saying 'you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar' isn't accurate when it comes to actual flies. Sometimes vinegar works better for attracting pests like fruit flies.
  3. Making a fruit fly trap with vinegar is simple. Just mix vinegar in a jar with holes in the lid, and the flies won't be able to escape after they get in.

Disaffected, Episode 153: Jan 6, 2024

519 implied HN points • 08 Jan 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Racial Issues Mental health Activism Education Media
  1. A Harvard president resigned due to plagiarism, which connects to larger racial issues in America from the last several decades.
  2. Activists are bringing Drag Queen Story Hour to rural areas in Vermont, aiming to reach children in conservative communities.
  3. A discussion on the signs and behaviors of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is highlighted through a text conversation example.
Get a weekly roundup of the best Substack posts, by hacker news affinity:

Disaffected 11/5/2023

739 implied HN points • 05 Nov 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Government Action Public Safety Social Issues Cultural Commentary
  1. There is a rising anti-Jewish sentiment in the West, yet government initiatives are focused on combating anti-Islamophobia instead.
  2. It's important to distinguish between feeling unsafe and actually being unsafe. Standing up for oneself is often better than seeking help from authority figures.
  3. The conversation touches on various cultural topics, including AI misgendering and other societal issues, leading to a broader discussion.

Spare the rod and spoil the child

839 implied HN points • 01 Oct 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Political Events Progressivism Media Coverage Social Issues
  1. There are serious problems in modern parenting that may lead to bad behavior in kids, like increased violence and selfishness. It's important for parents to take their roles seriously to prevent these issues.
  2. A Texas representative caused quite a scene during a government hearing, showing how politics can be influenced by personal emotions and outbursts. This suggests a need for better decorum in serious discussions.
  3. Some young people are seeking support in places that align with their identities, like Vermont, which provides financial help for gender transition. This highlights how societal acceptance and support can impact individual choices.

Most important episode of Disaffected yet

779 implied HN points • 21 Oct 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Free speech Civil Rights Local Politics Media Activism
  1. A man in Burlington, Vermont is being prosecuted for putting up stickers that share his views on gender identity. The stickers express beliefs like 'No one was born into the wrong body.'
  2. The city is taking action against him while ignoring other stickers that promote violence against people who disagree with transgender views.
  3. The episode aims to highlight the differences in how authorities respond to various forms of expression related to this topic.

This is Cluster B on Substack

1578 implied HN points • 20 Apr 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Social Issues Activism Identity politics Cultural critique
  1. Some people use their past trauma to gain sympathy and make accusations against others. This can sometimes be manipulative, as they may not show the whole story.
  2. There's a group of people who want strict moderation of online speech, but platforms like Substack don’t follow those same rules as Twitter does.
  3. When some individuals who are used to getting their way face pushback for the first time, it can be surprising and almost entertaining for others to witness.

Sticks and stones

1578 implied HN points • 17 Apr 23
🎭️ Culture Identity Media Communication Society Feminism
  1. Not everyone has to like the same things. It's okay for someone to dislike flamboyant expressions without it being a moral issue.
  2. It's important to appreciate criticism and differing tastes instead of getting offended. Many people can still support you while having their own preferences.
  3. Everyone has different opinions, and that's normal. We should focus on common ground instead of getting upset over personal tastes.

Beauty matters

1478 implied HN points • 06 May 23
🎭️ Culture Aesthetics Lifestyle Design Hobbies Collectibles
  1. Beauty is important in our lives. It can transform a simple home into a cozy and inviting place.
  2. Older appliances and goods can be more reliable than new ones. They cost less and often last longer.
  3. Hobbies can bring joy, like collecting antique kerosene lamps. They not only serve a purpose but also add charm to a space.

Subscriber Hangout This Week!

359 implied HN points • 17 Feb 24
🎙 Podcasts Community Support Events Engagement Media
  1. There's a subscriber hangout happening on February 22 at 7 pm Eastern Time. It's a casual chance for supporters to connect and chat.
  2. You can join the hangout through Discord, and it's okay to stay off camera if you prefer. Just check for the announcement link if you're already a member.
  3. Subscriptions have dropped to $7 a month, making it a great time to support the show and gain access to the Discord community.

Mommie Issues

779 implied HN points • 29 Sep 23
🎙 Podcasts Audio Shows Personal Stories Cultural Commentary Mental health Public Discourse
  1. Domestic abuse has become openly common in society. It's not just a personal issue, but affects our politics and culture too.
  2. The show 'Disaffected' started to explore these serious themes in a personal way. Talking about individual experiences helps highlight larger societal problems.
  3. Childhood experiences, especially under difficult or abusive circumstances, can shape one's understanding of public issues today. These personal stories can help illustrate what’s wrong in the world now.

Gallows humor salves the hurt

1398 implied HN points • 10 May 23
😂 Humor Consumer Advocacy
  1. Gallows humor can help ease the pain of serious situations. It helps break tension and can make heavy topics feel a bit lighter.
  2. Talking about death openly and honestly can be very helpful for grieving people. It’s better to use clear language than to sugarcoat things.
  3. People appreciate when someone treats them like adults during tough times. They want practical advice and a touch of humor can really help them feel understood.

Welcome to Oceania

819 implied HN points • 17 Sep 23
🎙 Podcasts Media Entertainment Current Events Commentary Humor
  1. Apple released a strange commercial featuring an angry Mother Nature character who confronts corporate leaders, which some people found awkward and uncomfortable.
  2. President Biden struggled during a speech in Vietnam and made funny but confusing remarks that raised concerns about his readiness to lead.
  3. In Canada, some classic books are being removed from schools for inclusivity reasons, leading to strong reactions, including a heated argument at a school board meeting.

Disaffected Episode 155: January 20, 2024

419 implied HN points • 22 Jan 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Diversity Crisis
  1. The FAA is hiring people with various disabilities for diversity, which some view as misplaced priorities given current aviation issues.
  2. There is a discussion on the rise of wokery and whether it's still growing or starting to fade.
  3. Many people go through a grieving process when they realize their parents may not be who they thought they were, facing the 'death' of an illusion.

Holding on to being human

1358 implied HN points • 03 May 23
🎭️ Culture Social Behavior Human Interaction Race relations Customer Service
  1. People often experience rudeness instead of kindness in customer service today. Many have become used to being ignored or treated poorly, which can affect how they respond to friendly interactions.
  2. Cultural changes play a big role in how people interact with each other, especially in stores. Different groups can show very different attitudes, leading to frustration and misunderstandings.
  3. Observing these changes in everyday interactions is important. Recognizing the decline in human connection helps encourage better communication and kindness in our daily lives.

Back to the 50s

1278 implied HN points • 20 May 23
🪞 Fashion & Beauty Fashion Trends Beauty Standards
  1. Looking good doesn't have to be hard. You can use classic styles from the 1950s for a timeless look.
  2. For women, flattering dresses exist that suit all body types, and simple grooming is key. Stick to natural makeup for a fresh appearance.
  3. Men should keep their looks clean and classic, avoiding excessive jewelry and trends. A neat style will always be in fashion.

Have a Happy Mother's Day

1278 implied HN points • 14 May 23
🎭️ Culture Celebrations Family Traditions Values Relationships
  1. Being a mother is one of the most important jobs in the world. It shapes a child's life in many ways.
  2. Mothers should have a happy and warm day with their children. It's a time to celebrate their role and love.
  3. Support from the community is vital for mothers. Everyone can do their part to appreciate and help mothers in their journey.

Unstable women will stop at nothing

1258 implied HN points • 17 May 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Gender Issues Mental health Social justice Legal system Public Discourse
  1. Some women with specific mental health issues can make false claims about violence and abuse. It's a serious problem that affects many people.
  2. There are cases where therapists avoid female clients due to concerns about false accusations. This makes it hard for some women to get the help they need.
  3. It's important to speak out about these issues and not dismiss them as exaggeration. Sharing experiences can help others understand the risks involved.

Thank you--yes, you!

1298 implied HN points • 08 May 23
🎙 Podcasts Media Creativity Writing Support Community
  1. The author appreciates readers and subscribers for their support of the writing project. It feels good to have people enjoy and value their work.
  2. Writing can be tough, especially financially, but the support from readers is helping the writer get by.
  3. The author enjoys the freedom to write about topics they care about, and it’s rewarding to know people are listening.

Disaffected tonight at 8

639 implied HN points • 28 Oct 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Justice System Media Critique Psychology Crime Rates Public Opinion
  1. The findings from George Floyd's autopsy suggest he wasn't killed by police, citing high fentanyl levels instead of suffocation.
  2. There's a troubling trend where young people feel emboldened to commit violent acts without fear of consequences, leading to tragic outcomes.
  3. Many people shared personal experiences of growing up with a parent who has Borderline Personality Disorder, highlighting the challenges it brings.

Sororal Treachery

759 implied HN points • 10 Sep 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Feminism Child abuse Education Justice Social Issues
  1. A mommy vlogger was arrested for serious child abuse after her son sought help from a neighbor. This shows that sometimes people appear perfect online but may hide troubling realities.
  2. Some feminists are criticizing a sorority for accepting a transgender woman as a member, claiming it's a betrayal to women. This highlights ongoing debates about gender identity and women's rights.
  3. Important issues like car theft, children's education, and legal actions against popular figures are currently being discussed in society. These examples show the complexity of legal and social justice in our communities.

September Flood Update

739 implied HN points • 15 Sep 23
🌞 Climate & Environment Disaster relief Public Safety Environmental Impact Community support
  1. The author is almost finished with the repairs on their house that was damaged by flooding. It has been a challenging process, but progress is being made.
  2. They express deep gratitude to the donors who helped fund the rehabilitation of their home. The support from the community has been very important.
  3. There is a video update included for supporters to see the current state of the repairs. It shows the journey and effort put into fixing the house.

Disaffected: Episode 147

559 implied HN points • 20 Nov 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Government Elections Public Policy Local Politics Cultural Issues
  1. There's a look into how local government processes can get tangled up in personal issues, costing taxpayers money and time. It's surprising how one person's demands can affect so many.
  2. The episode compares the local situation to a Maoist takeover, suggesting that extreme cultural changes can happen in American cities without people noticing. It warns that similar issues could arise in other communities too.
  3. It raises concerns about the balance between personal identity and government resources, questioning how far local government should go to accommodate individual requests. It's an important topic for every community to think about.

What is this Substack even about?

1338 implied HN points • 18 Apr 23
🎙 Podcasts Media Discourse Psychology Personal Stories Mental health
  1. The podcast, Disaffected, explores how extreme personalities, like narcissism, affect public conversations today. It's about understanding these big feelings and behaviors that often go unnoticed.
  2. The host has personal experience with these issues, having grown up in a tough home environment. This background helps shape the discussions in the podcast.
  3. The show aims to provide insights and support for listeners who relate to the topics of emotional instability and personal struggles. There's a mix of articles and videos to help people dive deeper into the discussions.

Living in a Cluster B world

879 implied HN points • 04 Aug 23
🎭️ Culture Mental health Cognitive Distortions Cultural Commentary Social Issues
  1. The modern mental health industry often encourages harmful behaviors rather than helping people heal. This shift affects how society views mental health issues.
  2. There is a concern about the influence of Cluster B personality traits in culture, which may lead to a disregard for accountability and emotional manipulation.
  3. The discussion highlights the importance of recognizing cognitive distortions and advocating for more effective therapeutic approaches.

Welcome to Disaffected

2997 implied HN points • 29 May 22
🎭️ Culture Psychology Family Politics Media Sociology
  1. The author experienced a difficult childhood with a mother who had personality disorders, leading to a realization about the impact of such behavior on family dynamics.
  2. There is a connection between personal experiences of emotional manipulation and the larger cultural and political climate today, suggesting many leaders exhibit similar traits to those seen in dysfunctional families.
  3. Understanding these personality disorders can help us recognize and address the emotional instability present in society, which is crucial for making positive changes.

But they're mocking women!

1278 implied HN points • 13 Apr 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Women's Rights Transgender Issues Feminism Social Issues Privacy Rights
  1. Transgender ideology has serious issues, especially when it comes to the safety and privacy of women.
  2. There's a concern about the influence of this ideology on children, leading to potential medical and psychological harm.
  3. Women should not be overly sensitive to mockery; instead, they should respond with confidence and not let it affect their sense of identity.

I almost died 15 minutes ago

1238 implied HN points • 21 Apr 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Civility Law enforcement Public Policy Social Issues
  1. Incivility on the roads is becoming a serious issue, with more people behaving aggressively while driving. This kind of attitude can lead to dangerous situations for everyone on the road.
  2. The author has noticed a major change in driving behavior over the past few years, with a lot of drivers failing to follow basic traffic rules and often blaming others for their mistakes.
  3. To improve road safety, there should be more focus on enforcing traffic rules, promoting safe driving through public campaigns, and changing the overall attitude towards courteous driving.

Mina does 'the thing'

859 implied HN points • 26 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Lifestyle Humor Pets Relationships Social Commentary
  1. Mina has a special trick where she taps a hand to ask for attention or treats. It's her way of communicating what she wants.
  2. Shredder, on the other hand, doesn't have tricks but is straightforward and takes what he wants without asking.
  3. These two pets show different personalities: one is playful and communicative, while the other is more assertive and direct.

The soul of a house

1019 implied HN points • 13 Jun 23
🎭️ Culture Art Architecture Literature History Personal narratives
  1. Houses have a character or 'soul' that reflects the good or bad experiences that happen within them. Some houses feel welcoming while others seem cold or forbidding.
  2. Moving frequently and facing hardships can leave emotional scars, making the idea of a true home feel elusive. Finding a place that feels secure and safe can be a crucial part of childhood.
  3. Houses can evoke strong memories and dreams, even after many years. They remain important in our lives, often representing our desires for stability and belonging.

I don't want to play capture the flag

1179 implied HN points • 02 May 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Political Discourse Polarization Civics Social Issues Public Policy
  1. Many conversations today focus too much on political labels like liberal or conservative. This can make it hard to discuss real issues honestly.
  2. People often try to confirm what side someone is on rather than talking about specific topics. This can create a divide instead of a productive conversation.
  3. It would be better to discuss policies and situations directly without jumping to conclusions based on labels. This could help us understand each other better.

The only outcome

1059 implied HN points • 24 May 23
🎭️ Culture Society History Philosophy Psychology Politics
  1. The current state of society in the West was bound to happen due to cultural paths taken over the last 70 years. We can't ignore that we are responsible for our situation today.
  2. There is a deep-rooted narcissism among people who lack understanding of true freedom and history, which has been shaped by a controlling government.
  3. For real change to occur, society might need to confront some painful truths and experiences, possibly through a crisis, so that people can take responsibility for their lives.

Miscellany and mental bric-a-brac

799 implied HN points • 03 Aug 23
🎭️ Culture Mental health Creativity
  1. Try using half and half instead of milk for a creamier taste in your recipes. It’s a small change that can make things taste better.
  2. You don’t need a lot of different cleaners at home. You can make your own laundry detergent with simple ingredients you probably already have, saving money and reducing clutter.
  3. When you're bored, sing 'Crimson and Clover' but change the words to make it fun. It’s a silly way to lift your spirits!