Disaffected Newsletter

Disaffected Newsletter explores societal, cultural, and political issues through the lens of personal trauma and abnormal psychology. It discusses manipulation in relationships, the impact of family dynamics, toxic femininity, immigration, political loyalties, modern taboos, and societal divides, offering critiques of contemporary norms and policies.

Societal Divides Cultural Critiques Family Dynamics Politics and Leadership Mental Health Gender and Identity Immigration Media and Public Perception

The hottest Substack posts of Disaffected Newsletter

And their main takeaways

Disaffected: Episode 158

659 implied HN points • 11 Feb 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Government Society Public Policy Healthcare Media
  1. There's a sense that many people in the West are out of touch with reality. This disconnect can lead to serious problems for society.
  2. President Biden is showing signs of memory issues, and this has been highlighted in a recent report. It raises concerns about his ability to remember important events.
  3. There are alarming trends in society, like extreme actions taken by some parents regarding their children's health. This suggests we may be facing significant social issues.

Guest post: Goblins of Long Island

1618 implied HN points • 25 Aug 23
🎭️ Culture Society Identity Fashion Behavior Mental health
  1. The author describes strange encounters with people who have unconventional appearances, creating a sense of discomfort.
  2. They feel isolated in their reactions, as if no one else notices the oddity of their surroundings.
  3. There's a deep sense of cultural disconnection, leading the author to feel like they are in a dystopian reality.

Sobering morning thoughts

1638 implied HN points • 12 Aug 23
🎭️ Culture Society Philosophy Identity Behavior Authority
  1. Many people feel unhappy with how society just goes along with everything rather than questioning it. This can be really scary.
  2. There's a lot of frustration towards people who don't stand up against unfair authority. This lack of resistance leads to feelings of despair.
  3. The writer feels that many people, especially men, are too passive and afraid to challenge societal expectations. This makes them disappointed and angry.

Who did you expect to be?

1418 implied HN points • 09 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture Identity Self-reflection Personal Growth Life choices
  1. Many people find they are different from who they thought they would be when they grew up. It's common to reflect on this as we age.
  2. Mornings can bring a fresh perspective and clarity about our lives and choices. Sometimes, thoughts come to us clearly before we get distracted.
  3. It can be surprising to realize we might have become the person we would have previously judged or disliked. This can lead to interesting self-reflection.

The Lennon Sisters

679 implied HN points • 26 Jan 24
🎶 Music Artists Genres History Culture Performance
  1. The Lennon Sisters are known for their beautiful harmonies and musical talent.
  2. Their music often carries positive messages and a sense of peace.
  3. Supporting the creators behind this music can help keep the artistry alive.
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Josh and Leslie Elliott on "The Radical Center"

699 implied HN points • 18 Jan 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Political theory Social Issues Censorship Identity politics
  1. Leslie Elliott was training to be a psychotherapist but got cancelled for her views on therapy that didn't align with woke beliefs.
  2. The discussion will be about the concept of the 'Radical Center', which suggests finding common ground amidst extreme viewpoints.
  3. People interested in the topic can watch the premiere online at the specified time to learn more about these ideas.

Don't play 'Tower of Babel'

1518 implied HN points • 11 Aug 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Political theory Cultural critique Linguistics Progressivism Identity politics
  1. Many people who have changed their political views still deal with old emotional triggers. These triggers affect how they think and react to various situations.
  2. Using the same terms and language from old beliefs can undermine one's current views. It's important to recognize that language carries meaning and implications.
  3. Some new terms, like 'the unhoused' or 'sex work,' might seem harmless but can actually reinforce old beliefs and ideas. It's worth questioning the language we choose to use.

Disaffected: Episode 157

599 implied HN points • 05 Feb 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Legislation Social Issues Government Education Health
  1. Woke culture has spread widely and affects many areas like medicine, education, and government, even in traditionally conservative areas.
  2. In Montana, a girl with serious trauma was taken from her parents because they disagreed with a medical procedure she was pressured to undergo.
  3. Colorado is considering a law that lets felons change their names if they identify as transgender, raising concerns about transparency for employers and parents.

Are you being clear?

1338 implied HN points • 05 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture Communication Society Technology Behavior Generational
  1. Clarity in communication is lacking more than ever today. Most people are not as clear as they used to be, and this hampers conversations.
  2. Many people are more self-centered now, assuming others can read their minds during discussions. This leads to vague communication that requires others to ask for clarity.
  3. To improve communication, it's helpful to provide complete information upfront and restate points to confirm understanding. Practicing this can make conversations smoother and more efficient.

A window well wonderland

1179 implied HN points • 08 Oct 23
🎭️ Culture Art Nature Lifestyle Personal Narrative
  1. The writer enjoys the view from their new apartment, especially the unique window well. It's a cozy spot with moss, leaves, and small creatures.
  2. Each morning, the writer checks on the wildlife in the window well, showing a sense of connection to nature.
  3. The writer has named a frog, Aloysius, which highlights their playful and imaginative perspective on everyday life.

10 pm tonight---Disaffected, Episode 161

479 implied HN points • 02 Mar 24
🎙 Podcasts Media Politics Culture Society Research
  1. A Democratic city council candidate in Burlington is facing backlash for an accusation related to a racial slur. This shows how political struggles can become intense, especially within the party.
  2. There is a debate about a man who set himself on fire to protest Israel. Some see him as a martyr, while others believe he was struggling with personal issues.
  3. A UK researcher claims that female psychopaths are just as common as male ones. This challenges the stereotype that we often have about violent behavior being mostly male.

Budget Little House

1039 implied HN points • 04 Nov 23
🎙 Podcasts Media Entertainment Audio Culture Personal
  1. Generosity from others helped the author recover from a flood disaster. It’s important to reach out for support when facing tough times.
  2. Creating a budget for living expenses is crucial for maintaining financial stability. Managing money wisely can help prevent financial difficulties in the future.
  3. Personal stories and experiences can bring people together and foster a sense of community. Sharing challenges and achievements can inspire others.

Recovering from the flood

1658 implied HN points • 14 Jul 23
🌞 Climate & Environment Disasters Floods Recovery Weather Community support
  1. Vermont experienced severe flooding that caused extensive damage, with many homes destroyed and roads impassable. People have lost everything, and the landscape has changed significantly.
  2. The author has lost their job and is struggling financially, needing to move into a new apartment after their current home was flooded. They are looking for support to recover from the disaster.
  3. Any extra funds raised will go towards helping others affected by the flood, including providing assistance to a displaced tenant. The author emphasizes the need for community support and collective recovery.

Morning reductionism, mental health edition

1438 implied HN points • 15 Aug 23
🏥 Health & Wellness Mental health Psychology Trauma Wellness Self-help
  1. Being a reductionist means finding common patterns across different issues. It can help make sense of complex topics, especially in mental health.
  2. The way we label mental health issues can sometimes complicate things unnecessarily. Many diagnoses might just be different expressions of the same underlying problem.
  3. Understanding mental health as linked to root causes, like trauma, might be more helpful than viewing each disorder as separate. It's important to look at the bigger picture.

Remedial phone etiquette

1438 implied HN points • 10 Aug 23
🎭️ Culture Etiquette Communication Social norms Behavior Technology impact
  1. Making a phone call interrupts someone else's time, so you should always be polite when calling. Remember, you're asking for a favor.
  2. You should introduce yourself before asking the person on the other end to identify themselves. It's a simple matter of manners.
  3. Today, people don't always answer calls like they used to, so it's important to be respectful. The caller needs to justify interrupting the callee.

Nathalie Martinek on Depression

579 implied HN points • 02 Feb 24
🏥 Health & Wellness Mental health Wellness Self-care Psychology Personal Growth
  1. Nathalie Martinek provides fresh insights on depression that go beyond what's usually discussed. It's important to read different perspectives to understand it better.
  2. Sharing personal experiences can help others feel less alone in their struggles with depression. It shows that it's okay to be open about tough times.
  3. Reading about others' journeys through depression can offer comfort and guidance for those going through similar challenges. It might even help you find new ways to cope.

Disaffected: Episode 149, December 9, 2023

819 implied HN points • 10 Dec 23
🎙 Podcasts Media Culture Politics Society Psychology
  1. The left has changed a lot recently. It now shows a strong intolerance for disagreement and often reacts with extreme accusations like 'abuse' when faced with differing opinions.
  2. Many people react negatively when you simply ask questions today. Even innocent inquiries can provoke harsh backlash, making open discussions very difficult.
  3. There seems to be a mix of genuine emotional struggle and exaggerated behavior among some individuals. Instead of viewing it as just one or the other, it's important to understand that both real trauma and attention-seeking behavior can coexist.

Bits and bobs

1238 implied HN points • 07 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture Music Politics Food Art Social Issues
  1. Enjoy music that is simple and emotional, focusing on melody and harmony over complicated sounds. This resonates with many people on a deeper level.
  2. When speaking out, the goal isn't to make friends or convince everyone; it's about reducing the influence of those you disagree with in society.
  3. A basic chicken recipe can be delicious and easy to make by ensuring you season the meat under the skin. It's a simple way to enjoy a tasty meal.

Disaffected: Episode 156

579 implied HN points • 28 Jan 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Immigration Law enforcement Civil Rights Political Conflict
  1. Texas is standing firm against federal pressure about border control. There's a big debate about whether this could lead to serious conflict.
  2. Law enforcement seems to be struggling as they prioritize the interests of some visitors over the rights of local citizens. A situation arose where a police officer stopped a citizen from filming in public to protect tourists.
  3. There's a discussion on the treatment of a woman in Ohio who had a miscarriage and faced legal scrutiny. This case raises questions about rights and personal situations.

Stop Making Me Hit You

1059 implied HN points • 15 Oct 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Policy Legislation Social Issues Crime Activism
  1. Hamas has committed violent acts for public attention, showing their brutality is not hidden like past war crimes. It's time to recognize that not everyone labeled as a victim is innocent.
  2. California has introduced a new law that allows children as young as 12 to decide to enter foster care, raising concerns about state intervention without the need for clear abuse.
  3. The murder of activist Josh Kruger highlights complex issues, including allegations about his relationship with a minor and the circumstances surrounding his death.

A quick note of thanks

979 implied HN points • 24 Oct 23
🎙 Podcasts Media Subscription Community Content creation Engagement
  1. The author appreciates new paying subscribers for their support. It’s nice to know that people find value in what is being shared.
  2. There’s an acknowledgment of technical difficulties in responding to personal notes from subscribers. The author is aware and apologizes for this issue.
  3. A call to action is included, inviting subscribers to join a community on Discord for further engagement. This offers a chance for fans to connect more directly.

"And it was never enough"

1478 implied HN points • 09 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Film Mental health Literature Personal Stories History
  1. Trauma from childhood can make people feel like nothing they do is ever good enough. This feeling can linger throughout life, no matter the achievements.
  2. People often experience a deep sense of loneliness and self-doubt even when they are successful. It's common to feel like there's always something missing.
  3. Talking openly about mental health struggles can help others who feel the same way. Many people share these feelings but might not know how to express them.

Disaffected on Audio, right here on Substack

579 implied HN points • 17 Jan 24
🎙 Podcasts Audio Shows Media Entertainment Communication Culture
  1. The podcast is now available in audio format on Substack. It's a new way for listeners to engage with the content.
  2. Feedback from the audience is welcome to improve the show. They want to hear your thoughts and questions.
  3. The newsletter is supported by readers, and subscriptions help sustain its production. Joining as a free or paid subscriber shows your support.

Godspeed, Lisa Carlson

1658 implied HN points • 04 Jun 23
🎭️ Culture Obituaries Grief Advocacy Community
  1. Lisa Carlson was a passionate advocate for families dealing with death. She wanted people to understand they could care for their loved ones themselves without spending a lot of money.
  2. She wrote the first book that taught families how to handle their dead at home, which helped many realize they didn't have to rely on expensive funeral services.
  3. Lisa was known for her honesty and humor, and she believed laughter could help heal pain. She had a unique, caring spirit that touched everyone around her.

First draft of a maxim

939 implied HN points • 20 Oct 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Social Issues Identity politics Cultural critique Philosophy Public Discourse
  1. It's important to clarify definitions before discussing disagreements. Often, people think they're disagreeing when they are just using different meanings for the same words.
  2. The author challenges the common views on 'isms' like homophobia and racism. They argue that not all criticisms labeled as these are actually rooted in hate or irrational fear.
  3. Many claims of 'ism' are seen as tools to silence opposing viewpoints, rather than genuine expressions of prejudice. The author believes these claims are often untrue or exaggerated.

What you need to know about your car

1438 implied HN points • 05 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Generational differences Life Skills
  1. Understanding basic car maintenance is really important for keeping your vehicle running well. Things like checking oil levels and changing the oil regularly can prevent big problems.
  2. Cars need coolant to stop the engine from overheating. Always check the coolant level when the car is cold and consider flushing the system yearly.
  3. Pay attention to warning lights in your car. Lights for oil pressure and temperature mean you should pull over immediately, while others, like tire pressure lights, can often be ignored if your tires look fine.

The Morning After

1378 implied HN points • 13 Jul 23
📰 News Disasters Local news Weather Community Human Interest
  1. The flooding in Vermont has caused a lot of damage, making it really hard for many people. Some have lost their homes and everything they own.
  2. Rescue operations were intense, with people being saved by helicopters. This shows how serious and scary the situation is.
  3. Even though things are tough now, there is hope for recovery and better days ahead. People are coming together to help each other.

I'm not going where you're going

1958 implied HN points • 05 Apr 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Political Views Social Issues Cultural critique Personal Reflection
  1. Losing friends can happen when your views change. When someone undergoes personal growth or changes their beliefs, it can strain relationships.
  2. Some people choose to ignore harsh realities. It's hard to stay friends with those who refuse to see or accept truths you believe are important.
  3. Living in denial affects trust. When friends refuse to acknowledge issues, it can lead to a breakdown in trust and a feeling that you can't stay in the same space anymore.

It's the best time to subscribe to Disaffected

459 implied HN points • 10 Feb 24
🎙 Podcasts Subscription Support Content Community Engagement
  1. The subscription price for Disaffected has been lowered from $10 to $7 a month to help more people afford it. It's important to have your support at a price that works for you.
  2. Paid subscribers get special benefits like access to exclusive essays, the ability to comment, and join the Disaffected Discord chat.
  3. You can also support Disaffected with one-time donations if you don't want to commit to a subscription. Any amount helps and is greatly appreciated.

You can do it

1518 implied HN points • 14 Jun 23
🏥 Health & Wellness Addiction Mental health Recovery Self-Improvement Personal Stories
  1. You have the power to choose to quit drinking and make positive changes in your life. It doesn't matter how you do it, as long as it's a choice that helps you.
  2. Stopping drinking can reveal a lot of painful truths about your life and choices, but facing those realities is necessary for growth. It's hard at first, but it can lead to a healthier perspective.
  3. Believe in your strength and ability to change. Don't underestimate yourself; your willpower is stronger than you think.

Incivility: Dunkin' Donuts Edition

1258 implied HN points • 27 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Social norms Public Behavior Service Industry Generational differences
  1. Incivility in daily life is increasing, especially among service workers. This is not just a rare occurrence but a common issue that happens regularly.
  2. Many believe that service workers have 'bad days' which excuses their behavior, but this mindset is challenged. People should not accept poor service as a norm just because someone is having a tough time.
  3. Younger generations, particularly Millennials, may not recognize or fully understand the shift in attitudes towards service jobs. The expectation for respectful service should remain high, regardless of the circumstances.

"Look What You Made Me Do"

1318 implied HN points • 15 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Social Issues Mental health Childhood Family Dynamics Abuse
  1. Borderline Personality Disorder can lead to emotional instability and unpredictable behavior, affecting those around them. It's important to understand that this behavior is not the fault of others.
  2. Experiencing emotional or psychological abuse manifests in guilt and confusion, often leading to questions about one's actions. People involved can feel responsible for the abuser's pain, which is a common manipulation tactic.
  3. Societal norms have changed, and behaviors once considered unacceptable in private are now more visible and often seen as normal. It's vital to recognize these signs of abuse in both personal relationships and broader social contexts.

Housekeeping bits and bobs

1778 implied HN points • 25 Apr 23
🍲 Food & Drink Cooking tips Food Preservation Meal preparation
  1. Put your steel wool pads in the freezer to stop them from rusting. This can make them last much longer.
  2. You can use grated bar soap as laundry detergent if you run out. It's a simple trick your grandparents used.
  3. Old appliances, like vintage blenders or washing machines, can last much longer and are often easier to repair than modern ones.

When love has nowhere to go

1678 implied HN points • 11 May 23
🎭️ Culture Personal Growth Family Dynamics Emotional Healing Mental health Life Reflection
  1. Talking about bad experiences is easier than sharing happy memories. It's hard to explain feelings when love seems inconsistent.
  2. As time passes, there’s a heavy realization about lost opportunities in life, like not having a family of their own.
  3. Love can be difficult to express when it feels like there's no right place for it to go, leading to feelings of sadness and frustration.

No bridge too far

1658 implied HN points • 13 May 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Political Ethics Political Identity Social Issues Government Policy
  1. Many progressive liberals seem to lack a moral line that they won’t cross, even when their party takes extreme actions.
  2. There are serious issues in society like the education system failing kids, rising fatherlessness, and the controversial handling of child gender identity that should concern everyone.
  3. Supporting political parties that endorse harmful policies is seen as a moral failure, with the belief that it creates a divide between people who care about ethics and those who don't.

Held Hostage-the undoing of an American city

1039 implied HN points • 03 Sep 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Local Politics Activism Democracy Racial Issues
  1. The episode discusses the decline of representative democracy in Burlington, Vermont. The city council meeting was filled with chaos, showing a troubling trend in how discussions are held.
  2. There was intense pressure and outbursts from activists during the meeting, which can threaten the democratic process. It's important to pay attention to how community discussions are taking shape.
  3. The reaction of local politicians to align with radical voices raises concerns about their motivations and the future of governance. It's crucial for citizens to stand up and be aware of these issues before they escalate.

Clean your fan

1238 implied HN points • 25 Jul 23
  1. Cleaning your fan can greatly improve its performance. It helps the fan blow more air and work better.
  2. A dirty fan blade can collect a lot of grime which affects airflow. It's important to keep it clean, like an airplane wing needs to be clear of dirt.
  3. You don't always have to throw out cheap fans when they get dirty. A simple cleaning can make them feel almost new again.

Burlington is persecuting a good man

839 implied HN points • 26 Oct 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Free speech Civil Rights Political Activism Legal issues Community support
  1. A retired teacher named Bill Oetjen is facing fines for putting up stickers expressing his views on gender issues. He feels targeted by the city government for his opinions.
  2. Bill believes that the city is violating free speech rights by labeling his messages as 'hate speech' while ignoring more extreme messages from others.
  3. There is a call for financial support to help Bill with legal costs as he challenges the fines and fights for his rights.

An emotion I can't name

1618 implied HN points • 07 May 23
🎭️ Culture Emotions Family Tradition Relationships Memory
  1. It's common to feel complex emotions that are hard to label. Sometimes, experiences can touch us deeply without having a clear name for the feeling.
  2. Receiving a meaningful gift from a loved one can evoke strong emotions. It shows that someone cares about us and wants to share something special.
  3. Family relationships and their expressions of love can shape our emotional experiences. Understanding these moments can help us recognize and appreciate our feelings better.

I need to stop being Sisyphus

959 implied HN points • 12 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture Gender Issues Relationships Societal norms Personal Growth Mental health
  1. It's hard to please everyone, especially when it comes to people's opinions about men. You can't change people's views, no matter how hard you try.
  2. Chasing the idea of being seen as a 'good man' can lead to frustration. It's like trying to roll a boulder uphill with no end in sight.
  3. Instead of trying to meet unrealistic expectations, focus on being true to yourself and your values. That's more important than seeking approval from others.