Disaffected Newsletter

Disaffected Newsletter explores societal, cultural, and political issues through the lens of personal trauma and abnormal psychology. It discusses manipulation in relationships, the impact of family dynamics, toxic femininity, immigration, political loyalties, modern taboos, and societal divides, offering critiques of contemporary norms and policies.

Societal Divides Cultural Critiques Family Dynamics Politics and Leadership Mental Health Gender and Identity Immigration Media and Public Perception

The hottest Substack posts of Disaffected Newsletter

And their main takeaways

The Gonzo Syndrome

719 implied HN points • 02 Mar 23
🎭️ Culture Social Behavior Activism Identity politics Urban life Higher education
  1. Many pedestrians act like they own the road, stepping into traffic without care. This behavior creates a feeling that they are challenging drivers, similar to Gonzo's reckless taxi-hailing.
  2. Some people ignore social norms and expect others to accommodate them. They seem to purposefully disregard basic courtesies and often act like their actions don't even matter.
  3. Adopting a confident stance can change the dynamic in these encounters. Instead of yielding, standing firm may surprise those who seek to intimidate and assert dominance.

See No Evil

479 implied HN points • 26 Jun 23
🎙 Podcasts Media Culture Politics Society Mental health
  1. There's a focus on young people in fast food jobs and how they seem disconnected from reality.
  2. A guest talks about the challenges of finding good help in a confusing mental health landscape.
  3. A new therapy service is launching that aims to be more supportive of traditional views without the political agenda.

In Defense of Undertakers

799 implied HN points • 20 Jan 23
🎭️ Culture Consumer Advocacy
  1. People often distrust funeral directors because they feel like they might take advantage of grieving families. Many think it's wrong for someone to profit from caring for the dead.
  2. The funeral industry has a history of being secretive about prices, which makes people suspicious. Buyers often make emotional decisions when planning funerals, leading to regrets later.
  3. Many people don't prepare for funeral costs in advance and end up blaming undertakers for high expenses. It's important to compare prices and options, just like you would for other purchases.

We Just Felt Like It

539 implied HN points • 21 May 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Legislation Education Social Issues Media Public Health
  1. The Washington Post reported misleading information about a Florida law, suggesting serious negative implications for minority health.
  2. A Minnesota lawmaker had an angry outburst in the House, demonstrating strong support for controversial medical treatments for kids.
  3. There have been protests in Germany regarding insufficient funding for Long Covid, and a teacher faced backlash for sharing LGBTQ-themed content in the classroom.

Won't somebody please

679 implied HN points • 06 Mar 23
🎭️ Culture Entertainment Media Celebrity Art Society
  1. We have many celebrities today, but they don't have the same star power as before. They lack the special quality that made stars unique.
  2. Stars used to carry a certain weight and admiration that we might not see in modern celebrities.
  3. The idea of a 'real woman' is being compared to the concept of a star, showing a desire for authenticity in today’s entertainment.
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Please let your readers read?

779 implied HN points • 13 Jan 23
🪑 Design Readability Visual Design User Experience Color Theory Blogging
  1. Use high-contrast colors for your text and background to make reading easier. Low contrast can make it hard to read and push people away from your content.
  2. Many readers won't tell you your text is hard to read, and they might leave without saying anything. It's better to get feedback than to lose potential readers.
  3. Remember that your main goal is to share words that people want to read. Avoid trendy designs that harm readability, as they can hurt your audience and support.

What medicos really think about masks

659 implied HN points • 07 Mar 23
🏥 Health Politics Public Health Policy Debate Mask Mandates Vaccination
  1. Many people agree that masks might not be effective, but they're too afraid to speak out. They often feel pressure from others to go along with the masking rules.
  2. Some staff at medical offices may have private doubts about masks, but they tend to keep those opinions to themselves.
  3. People often want to fit in or avoid conflict, even if they have their own reservations about masking requirements.

New Normal

659 implied HN points • 06 Mar 23
🎭️ Culture Media Critique Social Commentary Pop culture Psychology Identity politics
  1. Many people feel like they're living in a controlled and unnatural environment, similar to the film 'The Stepford Wives.' It's unsettling to interact with others who seem robotic and detached.
  2. Experiences in public spaces have changed significantly, making everyday interactions more uncomfortable than they used to be. People often follow strict rules that create a sense of isolation.
  3. There’s a growing divide in the U.S., with some areas feeling more 'normal' while others seem to embrace a strange new reality. Many are sensing a loss of genuine human connection.

EMERGENCY: VT to Legalize Child Abuse

699 implied HN points • 15 Feb 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Legislation Rights Abuse Child welfare Legal issues
  1. House Bill 89 could allow parents to kidnap their children and take them to Vermont for gender transition without facing legal consequences.
  2. The bill groups gender-affirming care with abortion rights to create confusion and manipulate emotions.
  3. It also lets anyone in Vermont sue those who try to prevent a child from being transitioned, calling such attempts 'abusive litigation'.

A song for you

619 implied HN points • 25 Mar 23
🎶 Music Genres Artists History Reviews Culture
  1. Nostalgia can provide comfort and make us feel better about the present.
  2. Music often evokes memories and emotions that connect us to past experiences.
  3. Sharing music and memories with others can strengthen our bonds and create a sense of community.

Gays Save The World

539 implied HN points • 24 Apr 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics LGBTQ Rights Media Critique Legislation Cultural Commentary
  1. Gay men have reportedly cut back on attending orgies, which some view as a quirky way to suggest they've made a positive impact on the world.
  2. There is a growing realization among women about the realities of transgender issues, with figures like Megyn Kelly speaking out.
  3. California has passed a law that gives therapists the power to take children away from parents they deem unsupportive of their identity.

Write like you're talking to an air traffic controller

639 implied HN points • 13 Feb 23
  1. Texting can be confusing because we often forget to provide clear references. Always remind your chat partner who or what you're talking about.
  2. When switching topics, be specific about what you're discussing. This helps keep conversations clear and prevents misunderstandings.
  3. It's helpful to repeat back what you've understood in your own words. This way, if there's a mistake, it can be corrected right away, saving time for everyone.

All that's old is new again

539 implied HN points • 04 Apr 23
🎭️ Culture Art Music Fashion Literature Philosophy
  1. Older ideas and trends often come back into fashion. It's common to see things that are considered 'outdated' become popular again.
  2. Nostalgia plays a big part in why we embrace things from the past. People enjoy the comfort and memories associated with older styles.
  3. Recycling old concepts can lead to creativity. By mixing the old with the new, fresh ideas can emerge that resonate with different audiences.

Actual libel (not the fake kind)

659 implied HN points • 27 Jan 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Law Media Free speech Social Issues Legal Cases
  1. Libel is hard to prove, but it can be done if someone shows actual malice. This means they knowingly spread false information.
  2. A specific case was mentioned where calling someone a murderer could be legally risky, especially when the courts found them not guilty.
  3. Understanding libel law is important, especially for journalists, as it helps them avoid making false claims that can hurt people's reputations.

Musical interlude

459 implied HN points • 13 May 23
🎶 Music Artists Albums Lyrics Music history Music culture
  1. Some artists, like Suzanne Vega, are so great that people will buy their music without hearing it first. Her music is special and touches many hearts.
  2. Winning her album on the radio was a memorable moment, and it led to a personal connection when the artist replied to a thank-you letter.
  3. The lyrics of her songs often explore deep and thoughtful themes, connecting listeners to emotions that feel universal.

Stephanie Winn and Josh Slocum on death

439 implied HN points • 22 May 23
🎙 Podcasts Interviews Themes Culture Society Psychology
  1. Death is a mystery that many cultures and religions try to understand, but it's important to remember the practical aspects of what happens next. Flowers, caskets, and goodbyes are all parts of dealing with loss.
  2. Talking about death can be hard, but it doesn't always have to be serious. Having conversations that include some humor can help ease the heaviness of the topic.
  3. Josh Slocum's work focuses on how personal experiences shape our views on society, especially regarding difficult topics like death and family dynamics.

Learn from my mistakes

699 implied HN points • 06 Dec 22
🏥 Health & Wellness Mental health Personal Growth Therapy Relationships Parenting
  1. People with emotional challenges can manipulate others, sometimes unintentionally. It's important to recognize these patterns to protect yourself and others.
  2. Helping others out of sympathy might make you vulnerable to emotional abuse. It's okay to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being.
  3. Suffering is a part of life and can teach valuable lessons. It's important to be aware of your own triggers and motivations in relationships.

Too good not to share

399 implied HN points • 28 May 23
🎭️ Culture Music Literature Sports Government Art
  1. Helen Dale has a unique ability to explain complex ideas about government and culture in a clear way. She's great for anyone wanting to understand the Westminster system better.
  2. Dale combines her intellect with imagination in her writing, making her novels both insightful and creative. Her work on historical events like the Holodomor showcases her talent.
  3. The essay highlights the emotional and cultural impact of music, particularly through personal memories and experiences, making it relatable and engaging for readers.

You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist

399 implied HN points • 21 May 23
🎙 Podcasts Therapy Mental health Society Self-help Awareness
  1. Therapy can help people understand their mental health better. It's important to find a therapist who truly understands the therapeutic process.
  2. Wokeness in the therapy field can sometimes distract from real therapy goals. Some therapists focus on affirming mental issues instead of addressing them.
  3. Awareness of Cluster B personality disorders is crucial in understanding modern life's challenges. Discussing these topics can improve society's view on mental health.

Musical interlude

359 implied HN points • 10 Jun 23
🎶 Music Genres Artists Lyrics Production Culture
  1. Music can express feelings and emotions deeply. It often connects with personal experiences and thoughts.
  2. Songs can serve as a source of comfort, especially during tough times. They can remind us that we are not alone in our struggles.
  3. Listening to music can be a way to reflect and find peace. It helps us process our feelings and understand our situations better.

Milquetoast Mommies

439 implied HN points • 10 Apr 23
🎙 Podcasts Media Entertainment Culture Society Personalities
  1. The term 'milquetoast' describes a person who is timid or lacks strong opinions. It often refers to those who avoid taking a stand.
  2. Exploring the role of parenting, especially motherhood, can reveal various pressures and expectations. Moms often feel the need to conform to certain ideals.
  3. There is a conversation about the balance between being nurturing and expressing one's own beliefs or desires. It's important for moms to find their voice while caring for others.

Still lying to yourself?

619 implied HN points • 13 Dec 22
🏥 Health & Wellness Mental health Self-help Trauma Personal Growth
  1. It's okay to limit contact with abusive parents, even if it's hard to do so. You don't owe them understanding or forgiveness.
  2. Remember that your parents' mistakes are not your responsibility. Their behavior is not a reflection of your worth.
  3. Acknowledging the truth about your childhood hurts, but it’s a necessary step towards healing and finding a better life.

Musical interlude

339 implied HN points • 16 Jun 23
🎶 Music Genres Artists Albums History Reviews
  1. Music can evoke emotions and memories. Listening to a song might remind you of a special moment or feeling.
  2. Sharing music with others builds connections. When you share a song, it can create a shared experience that brings people closer.
  3. Art, like music, often reflects personal experiences. The stories behind songs can be just as compelling as the melodies themselves.

Habits I recommend

719 implied HN points • 11 Oct 22
🏥 Health & Wellness Habits Mindfulness Organization Productivity Lifestyle
  1. Start by organizing your tasks before diving in. This makes it easier to work without feeling overwhelmed.
  2. Always be prepared by keeping necessary items handy. Having your keys ready can save you from fumbling in the dark.
  3. Assign a specific spot for your belongings and stick to it. This helps reduce stress and creates a calmer environment.

As in the home

499 implied HN points • 16 Feb 23
🎭️ Culture Society Family Humor Media Relationships
  1. The dynamics of a household can reflect larger societal issues. What happens in our homes can often parallel what happens in our communities.
  2. Family relationships can influence our understanding of social structures and interactions. How we connect with our family shapes how we relate to others.
  3. Personal stories and examples can help illustrate bigger concepts. Sharing experiences can make complex ideas easier to understand.

Escape from Mask Mountain

439 implied HN points • 27 Mar 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Legislation Public Health Social Issues Political Commentary LGBTQ Rights
  1. There is a growing movement in some states that supports transgender medical procedures for children, which has raised concerns about parental rights and involvement.
  2. Certain areas, like Portland, are commemorating past public health measures like mask mandates even as they are relaxed elsewhere.
  3. There is a mix of news and commentary that highlights unusual or controversial social issues in current events.

Episode 109: War Footing

479 implied HN points • 27 Feb 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Legislation Social Issues Political Commentary Mental health
  1. A new Vermont bill is controversial because it allows sex changes for children and provides free sex changes and abortions at colleges.
  2. Vermont is still following COVID-19 restrictions like masks and social distancing, which some find concerning.
  3. The host defends Matt Walsh for speaking against those influencing children in harmful ways, stating there is a growing anger among men about this issue.

Ridiculous

539 implied HN points • 12 Jan 23
😂 Humor Satire Comedy Parody Social Critique Culture
  1. Being ridiculous can be part of someone's personality, making them unique.
  2. The term 'heffalump' can imply a cute or silly character, possibly making light of someone's traits.
  3. Everyone has their own stories that shape them, which can be entertaining or heartwarming.

Fresh, hot take you're gonna love/hate

499 implied HN points • 02 Feb 23
🎭️ Culture LGBTQ+ Issues Identity politics Media Critique Pop culture Social Commentary
  1. Gay men sometimes idolize strong female figures in a way similar to how straight men idolize their mothers. This shows a connection between their appreciation and their relationships.
  2. The concept emphasizes that relationships with women can be very complex for gay men, involving admiration and emotional ties.
  3. It suggests that the public personas of certain female stars can influence the identities and experiences of gay men, shaping their social narratives.

To: social media users

699 implied HN points • 07 Sep 22
🎭️ Culture Social media Cultural Trends Communication Public Discourse
  1. Having a popular social media account changes how people behave and feel. If you haven't experienced it, it's hard to understand those feelings.
  2. Twitter can make people act negatively, but that doesn't excuse harmful behavior from others. There is a difference between reacting to negativity and spreading it.
  3. Things happening on Twitter often reflect real-life issues, and dismissing them just as online problems is not accurate. Many serious topics are being discussed and acted upon outside of social media.

No more vaccines

699 implied HN points • 02 Sep 22
🏥 Health Politics Vaccines Public Health Pharmaceuticals Health Policy Skepticism
  1. The speaker has decided not to take any more vaccines, except for possibly a tetanus booster. They believe this decision is based on a rational understanding of public health and pharmaceutical practices.
  2. They feel that there may have been misinformation about the risk and benefits of earlier vaccines, leading to doubts about the vaccination process.
  3. The speaker acknowledges that their decision may seem unusual to vaccine supporters but sees it as a normal response to their understanding of the situation.

Odds and ends

639 implied HN points • 05 Oct 22
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Political issues Culture Wars Cancel Culture Personal narrative
  1. The author resigned from a long-term job because they feel they are being cancelled for their views on social issues. It highlights the impact of cultural conversations on personal and professional lives.
  2. They emphasize the importance of a nonprofit they worked for that helps families with funeral planning and costs. The organization continues to do good work despite the author's departure.
  3. The author is focusing on a podcast project called Disaffected and is seeking paid subscriptions to support their work. They mention the collaborative effort with a friend to improve their show.

Modern Manners

339 implied HN points • 08 May 23
🎭️ Culture Social Issues Personal Growth Family Dynamics Media Critique
  1. Basic decency seems to be getting worse, especially for those who claim to be oppressed. People often think they can skip courtesy because of their circumstances.
  2. Some mothers may treat their sons in ways that seem too close or inappropriate, raising questions about boundaries. It's important to consider what a child truly needs in those moments.
  3. There are different types of narcissists, and recognizing them can be helpful. It's good to learn how to spot these traits in others, especially in online interactions.

Back with Bette and Joan!

399 implied HN points • 17 Mar 23
🎭️ Culture Television Film Hollywood Gender Studies
  1. The watch party for the miniseries 'Feud: Bette and Joan' is a fun way to connect over classic Hollywood drama. It's happening on March 19 and everyone is welcome to join the discussion.
  2. Bette Davis and Joan Crawford had very different personalities, with Davis being a talented actress and Crawford more of a classic movie star. Their intense rivalry makes for a captivating story to explore.
  3. The series delves deeper into the personal struggles of both actresses and highlights the challenges they faced in an ageist Hollywood. It's a mix of humor, tragedy, and glamour that portrays their complex relationship.

Re-post: Welcome to Disaffected

499 implied HN points • 30 Dec 22
🎭️ Culture Mental health Family Dynamics Political culture Psychology Social Commentary
  1. Understanding Cluster B personality disorders can help explain certain behaviors seen in both personal relationships and broader society. It's important to recognize these patterns to better navigate relationships.
  2. The author's experiences with their mother's behavior highlight the impact of narcissism and emotional instability, which can lead to trauma and dysfunction in families.
  3. Current cultural issues reflect similar behaviors seen in Cluster B personalities, suggesting that these traits are not just personal but also prevalent in politics and media today.

All on our own

399 implied HN points • 10 Mar 23
🎭️ Culture Arts Music Identity Media Society
  1. There was a time when people felt more connected and shared a common culture. It felt like things were simpler and more hopeful back then.
  2. People today often feel isolated and disconnected, being seen more as online personas rather than real individuals.
  3. For those feeling alone now, there's a recognition that it's okay to walk that path and share in that experience.

Episode 111: A Republic If You Can Keep It

359 implied HN points • 13 Mar 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Government Policy Media Social Issues Political Commentary
  1. The government has been dishonest about the Capitol incident on January 6, and this has affected conservatives unfairly. They have hidden important information from the public.
  2. A city council in Burlington, Vermont is pushing new laws that seem to target specific groups. This has caused concern for some members of the community, including the local Republican Party chairman.
  3. The episode also includes a segment that mixes humor with current events. It offers a light-hearted look at serious topics.