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Sex and the State is a newsletter that delves into issues surrounding sex work, mental health, societal norms, and power dynamics. It explores complex topics like the legality of prostitution, modern work culture, personal stories of growth and hardship, and critiques of political and social systems.

Sex Work Mental Health and Therapy Societal Norms Power Dynamics Politics Personal Growth Relationships Cultural Critique

The hottest Substack posts of Sex and the State

And their main takeaways

What just happened?

23 implied HN points • 07 Nov 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Elections Voting Political parties Public Opinion Campaigns
  1. Kamala Harris losing the popular vote was unexpected for many. It shows how unpredictable politics can be.
  2. The writer moved to a new area to understand different political views. It highlights the challenge of finding common ground among diverse opinions.
  3. Making new friends in a place with different political beliefs can be difficult. It's important to connect with people no matter their political stance.

What I learned from being a nanny for a week

21 implied HN points • 12 Nov 24
  1. Being a nanny can help make money and provide support to family, especially when other childcare options are unavailable.
  2. Living in a new place can be tough without transportation and friends, but taking up a job like nannying can be a good way to adapt.
  3. Nannying for a short time can be a trial run to see if it's a good fit for both the nanny and the family.

A shockingly ignorant timeline

23 implied HN points • 06 Nov 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Feminism Social Issues Gender Politics Cultural critique
  1. People often ignore important issues, like what is happening in Russia. It's important to stay informed, even if it's uncomfortable.
  2. There’s a rise in anti-feminist ideas, like the 'tradwife' trend, which can be harmful. These views don't really support women's rights.
  3. Understanding these social trends helps us see the bigger picture. It’s crucial to think critically about what we see and believe.

Demand for male breadwinners exceeds supply

27 implied HN points • 24 Oct 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Society Gender Marriage Demographics Relationships
  1. There are more people looking for traditional male breadwinners than there are available men who fit that role. This can create issues in relationships.
  2. The gap between what people expect in a husband and what they actually find might be affecting choices around dating and marriage today.
  3. Declining rates of marriage and fertility could be linked to the changing perceptions of masculinity and the roles men are expected to play in families.

I am the solution to polarization

13 implied HN points • 02 Dec 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Political Divides Media influence Polarization Public Discourse Political Behavior
  1. Many people see those who disagree with them as enemies. This creates a divide, making it hard to connect with others.
  2. The media and social settings often reinforce these divides by showing extreme opinions. This can make us think everyone with different views is bad.
  3. To fix polarization, we need to find ways to engage and share experiences with people who have different beliefs.
Get a weekly roundup of the best Substack posts, by hacker news affinity:

Why real men look like trash

23 implied HN points • 30 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Gender Roles Socialization
  1. Men often come across as messy or emotionally unbalanced, especially on dating apps. This can make them less appealing to women.
  2. Basic skills like grooming and style are important for everyone, but men haven't always been taught to prioritize these things.
  3. Advice on self-improvement is easier for women to give to men, but gender dynamics make these conversations complex.

Most women don't realize how much dating sucks for men

21 implied HN points • 29 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Gender Society Relationships Mental health
  1. Many women overlook the difficulties men face in dating. Men often deal with high expectations and pressure, making their experience challenging.
  2. Recent research shows a growing concern about men's mental health and their experiences in dating. It's important to talk about how these issues affect relationships.
  3. Understanding each other's struggles in dating can help improve communication and connection between men and women. Both sides have their own challenges that deserve recognition.

Sexists fear women

9 implied HN points • 11 Dec 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Gender Issues Feminism Societal Trends
  1. Many sexists are driven by fear, not hate. This fear can make people act irrationally and selfishly.
  2. Younger, lower-status men tend to be the most sexist. They often feel threatened by women's advancement.
  3. The most sexist individuals may experience the biggest loss due to feminism, showing that their fear is linked to their own status.

The Sex and the State 2024 Holiday Gift Guide

12 implied HN points • 28 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Gift Guides Sexuality Literature Media Personal Development
  1. Acknowdging,聊天建议也可以通过订阅的方式来提升性教育的知识，这是非常合适的礼物选择。
  2. 关于性的话题需要去除羞耻感，帮助更多人学习和探讨性愉悦，这样会对每个人都有益。
  3. 提供一些实用的礼物建议，比如好用的厨房工具和养猫的系统，这些会让生活更方便。

Spend time with people you like and want to emulate

21 implied HN points • 26 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social Dynamics Personal Growth Lifestyle Choices Community Building
  1. Surround yourself with people you admire and enjoy being with. This helps you grow and learn from their positive qualities.
  2. If you want to improve in any area of your life, choose environments and relationships that support your goals and aspirations.
  3. Pay attention to the relationships you want to emulate. Spending time with those couples or individuals can guide you towards healthier connections in your own life.

We are all very ignorant about every aspect of abuse

13 implied HN points • 21 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Gender Issues Social justice Mental health Media influence
  1. Many people don't understand abuse very well. This ignorance leads to feelings of shame and can make it harder for victims to speak out.
  2. There's a common assumption that victims of sexual assault are women and perpetrators are men, which can limit our understanding of who can be affected by abuse.
  3. Blaming victims is dangerous and often comes from a place of fear. It's important to support victims instead of shaming them.

Can we all just agree that it's weird and dumb that we still have girl jobs and boy jobs?

10 implied HN points • 25 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Gender Roles Workplace Society Economics Identity
  1. It's strange that we still categorize jobs as 'girl jobs' and 'boy jobs.' This doesn't reflect our modern society.
  2. Gender roles in jobs can lead to unfair treatment and inequality in the workplace. It's important to question these stereotypes.
  3. We should focus on people's skills and interests rather than their gender when it comes to jobs. Everyone deserves equal opportunities.

A thot with thoughts on syphilis

19 implied HN points • 09 Feb 24
🏥 Health & Wellness Sexual Health
  1. The author reflects on the passing of someone from their past who may have been battling syphilis.
  2. The individual was involved in sex work and had an undisclosed ongoing illness.
  3. The author considers the possibility of the acquaintance suffering from syphilis based on a post from a friend.

I've got shit on my mind

19 implied HN points • 02 Feb 24
🏥 Health & Wellness Mental health
  1. The newsletter content can be intense and not for the faint-hearted.
  2. The author addresses a disturbing incident involving a prison inmate and a broomstick.
  3. Readers are given a warning for the unsettling content and a chance to opt-out.

Unpopular opinion: More rape for less gay sex is a bad trade

15 implied HN points • 14 Mar 24
🎭️ Culture Social Issues Religion
  1. The post discusses the complex issue of sexual abuse within religious institutions like the Southern Baptist Convention and the impact it has on their practices and beliefs.
  2. It highlights the dangerous trade-off of prioritizing the prevention of gay sex over addressing the prevalence of rape, shedding light on important societal attitudes and priorities.
  3. The post serves as a reminder of the need for critical conversations and actions to combat sexual abuse and protect vulnerable individuals in various communities.

Activism update

15 implied HN points • 04 Mar 24
  1. The author is involved in local organizing and activism with a group called the Huntsville New Liberals and a project focusing on housing.
  2. The author dedicats a significant amount of her time to her newsletter and local activism work.
  3. Readers can subscribe for a 7-day free trial to access the author's full post archives.

Is authoritarianism inherently anti-social?

13 implied HN points • 06 Mar 24
📖 Philosophy Political theory Social Dynamics
  1. The relevance of the left/right political divide is being questioned, with focus shifting towards pro-social versus anti-social perspectives.
  2. Authoritarianism is being considered as inherently anti-social, sparking discussions on its impact on society.
  3. Engagement with differing perspectives, such as pro-social versus anti-social viewpoints, can lead to meaningful discourse and understanding.

Trafficking hysteria as rape fantasy

18 implied HN points • 18 Dec 23
🎭️ Culture Gender Society History
  1. In 1910, Congress passed the White-Slave Traffic Act to address concerns about white girls moving to cities for work.
  2. Moral scolds created a myth of Black men kidnapping white women to control social change and freedom for white women.
  3. Trafficking hysteria was used to enforce compliance through fear and false narratives.

Josh Hawley is why I'm a technocrat

12 implied HN points • 13 Mar 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Policy Political Figures
  1. The post discusses Josh Hawley and the author's perspective on him walking with the Teamsters Union.
  2. The author connects Hawley to being a technocrat and shares her feelings about his actions.
  3. Readers can access more content and archives by subscribing to the blog and getting a 7-day free trial.

Democracy needs a little less participation

12 implied HN points • 08 Mar 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Democracy
  1. Democracy may benefit from some reduction in participation to improve the decision-making process
  2. Focusing on equity in decision-making process rather than just the outcome is crucial
  3. Consider exploring diverse perspectives and ideas, even when they challenge existing beliefs

How my moral intuitions have evolved

13 implied HN points • 15 Feb 24
📖 Philosophy Ethics Politics
  1. The author discusses how her moral intuitions or ethics-to-politics mapping has evolved over time.
  2. Top-tier commenter Nicholas prompted the discussion on the evolution of the author's moral intuitions.
  3. To access the full post and archives, readers can subscribe to Sex and the State with a 7-day free trial.

Good news about getting old

12 implied HN points • 23 Feb 24
🏥 Health & Wellness Aging Body Image Mental health
  1. The post discusses the positive aspects of aging, showing that there can be good news about getting old.
  2. There is a mention of body image and weight in relation to an Instagram post, prompting further discussion on these topics.
  3. Readers can access the full post and archives with a 7-day free trial subscription.

The two kinds of people who most need therapy

19 implied HN points • 26 Oct 23
🏥 Health & Wellness Therapy
  1. Therapy can help individuals realize patterns and make positive changes.
  2. The quote 'What had felt daunting to me my whole life...' made the author reflect on taking responsibility for urges and reactions.
  3. Therapy can be beneficial in breaking patterns and making realizations that lead to personal growth.

More evidence linking Evangelical Christianity with belief in female idiocy, etc.

10 implied HN points • 29 Feb 24
⛪ Faith & Spirituality Christianity Gender Dynamics
  1. The author discusses the belief in female idiocy and its connection to urban/rural divide, with Evangelical Christianity playing a role in the cycle.
  2. The concept of female brain drain is highlighted as a contributing factor to the urban/rural divide.
  3. Evidence supporting the theory of Evangelical Christianity's impact on gender pay gap is shared, reinforcing points made in previous parts.

Maybe my dead grandma was autistic?

18 implied HN points • 12 Oct 23
🏥 Health & Wellness Mental health
  1. The author reflects on the possibility of their deceased grandmother being on the autism spectrum.
  2. The author describes not feeling very liked by their grandmother.
  3. The post invites readers to subscribe to access more content from the author.

Racism and sexism, status games, and affirmative action

9 implied HN points • 15 Mar 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Affirmative Action Political Realignment Society Civil Rights Ideology
  1. The political and ideological realignment since 2016 is prompting a reevaluation of societal values and the types of 'games' we engage in.
  2. Hannah Nikole Jones's essay on affirmative action raises the question of reframing societal norms and behaviors.
  3. Affirmative action discussion opens up the opportunity to reconsider the dynamics of racism, sexism, and status games in society.