The hottest Dating Substack posts right now

And their main takeaways
Category
Top Culture Topics

FROM THE VAULT: A Master List of Dating Advice

Default Wisdom • 344 implied HN points • 28 Jun 25
🎭️ Culture Dating Relationships Advice Social Dynamics Self-Improvement
  1. Always pay attention to how someone treats you when you're feeling down. It's a good sign if they are supportive.
  2. People will show their true colors over time, so give them a few dates to see who they really are.
  3. Be careful of obsessing over someone; it often reflects your own feelings and needs more than it does about them.

The Dark Side of Desire

Rob Henderson's Newsletter • 3087 implied HN points • 18 May 25
🎭️ Culture Dating Psychology Relationships Sociology Evolution
  1. Women can sometimes be attracted to 'bad boys' or violent men due to evolutionary instincts. It's thought that women may view these traits as indicators of strength, which could help protect their own offspring.
  2. Similarities in education, political beliefs, and values are key factors in choosing romantic partners. People generally gravitate towards those who share common backgrounds and life goals.
  3. Improving physical health and social skills can boost attractiveness. Taking care of yourself in terms of grooming and fitness, along with building social connections, can make a big difference in dating.

Death by Situationship

Many Such Cases • 8892 implied HN points • 21 Mar 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Relationships Social media Sexuality Gender
  1. Situationships are confusing romantic bonds that lack clear definitions, leaving people feeling stuck and unfulfilled. Many young people find themselves in these types of relationships instead of committed ones.
  2. Surveys show that situationships often lead to heartache, especially among younger generations. Many people end up feeling emotionally drained and hurt since these relationships usually don't meet their needs.
  3. The rise of digital communication has impacted how we form connections, making it easier to avoid real intimacy. Overall, situationships seem to reflect a broader struggle with genuine relationships and emotional honesty.

Bring Back Meeting In Real Life

Many Such Cases • 3876 implied HN points • 30 May 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Social norms Technology Communication Relationships
  1. Meeting people in real life is important for dating. We should go back to how relationships used to form through friends and social gatherings.
  2. Technology has made dating complicated. We often get overwhelmed by online options and forget to connect with people around us.
  3. It's time to face our fears about dating. We need to be more open and willing to talk to others, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

Seeking: Dating advice

Maybe Baby • 750 implied HN points • 29 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Dating Advice Social Lifestyle
  1. Sometimes, it helps to get different perspectives on personal questions. Asking friends or readers can lead to great advice.
  2. Everyone has unique experiences that can inform their advice. Sharing questions publicly can bring in valuable insights.
  3. It's okay to not have all the answers yourself. Leaning on a community for support and guidance can be really beneficial.
Get a weekly roundup of the best Substack posts, by hacker news affinity:

if he wanted to, would he really?

Airplane Mode with Liz Plank • 1867 implied HN points • 11 Jan 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Gender Feminism Relationships Social media
  1. Men's behavior in relationships is not always as simple as 'If he wanted to, he would.'
  2. Slogans like 'If he wanted to, he would' may have underlying anti-feminist implications and oversimplify modern dating dynamics.
  3. In today's dating scene, understanding and compassion for both genders can help avoid misunderstandings and improve relationships.

worldbuilding

bookbear express • 396 implied HN points • 13 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Dating Relationships Personal Growth Writing Community
  1. Being a matchmaker can be very intense, mixing excitement with a lot of pressure. It's about connecting people and making a real difference in their lives.
  2. The process of matchmaking requires understanding people's personalities and emotions deeply. It can feel overwhelming, but these feelings can also be a strength in this work.
  3. Hosting events, like a Valentine's party, can be fun but also nerve-wracking. It's about creating opportunities for people to meet and connect, which feels rewarding and special.

Gen Z’s Sexual Apocalypse. The Case for Marriage. And: Is It Time to Ditch the Apps?

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 2207 implied HN points • 14 Feb 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Relationships Marriage Gender Dynamics Self-Improvement
  1. There is a growing political divide between young men veering right and women leaning left, complicating dating and relationships.
  2. Consider ditching dating apps and try more traditional methods like asking for setups from friends or striking conversations in real life.
  3. Getting married can lead to a happier, more prosperous, and more meaningful life, despite common myths about relationships and career choices.

What really makes the dating app monopoly dysfunctional

Offline: dating that works • 219 implied HN points • 21 Apr 24
🕹 Technology Dating Apps Monopoly Algorithm User Interaction
  1. Dating apps lack an optimal balance between exploration and exploitation, crucial for decision-making in relationships.
  2. The current dating app market is monopolized by a dysfunctional swiping protocol that hinders successful exploration and relationships.
  3. Dating apps prioritize superficial attraction and short-term connections over meaningful, committed relationships, shaping user behavior and limiting relationship potential.

One True Love

Don't Worry About the Vase • 940 implied HN points • 09 Feb 24
🕹 Technology AI Dating Neural Networks Automation Ethics
  1. The story discusses a man's use of AI to find his One True Love by having the AI communicate with women on his behalf.
  2. The man's approach included filtering potential matches based on various criteria, leading to improved results over time.
  3. Ultimately, the AI suggested he propose to his chosen partner, which he did, and she said yes.

dating is hard... what are we going to do about it?

bookbear express • 214 implied HN points • 14 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social Issues Lifestyle Dating Community
  1. Dating can be tough for many people, often due to past relationships and unrealistic expectations. It’s normal to feel lost when starting to date again after a long time.
  2. Many individuals find online dating to be overwhelming and sometimes frustrating. Real-life connections often feel more meaningful compared to chatting online.
  3. In-person matchmaking and events offer a refreshing alternative to dating apps. They create opportunities for genuine connections without the pressure of fast-paced digital interactions.

When It Comes to Sex, My Generation Is Screwed

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 1252 implied HN points • 13 Feb 24
🌍 World Politics Dating Gender divide Political polarization MeToo Movement
  1. Many young singles are experiencing challenges in dating due to differing political ideologies.
  2. There is a significant divide in political views between young men and women, making it harder to find compatible partners.
  3. People are feeling pressured to hide their true beliefs while navigating the dating scene to avoid conflict or rejection.

Dating as a Digital Performance

Many Such Cases • 879 implied HN points • 13 Apr 23
🎭️ Culture Social media Dating Relationships Identity Content creation
  1. Dating apps are often treated like content platforms instead of tools for finding real connections. Many people care more about creating catchy social media posts than actually getting to know someone.
  2. Sharing personal dating experiences online can distort the purpose of dating. When everything becomes fodder for online discussion, it can lead to unrealistic expectations and self-consciousness while dating.
  3. It's okay to not want to go out with someone based on their date location. But sharing every little criticism publicly can take away from genuine experiences and may not be necessary.

Why Men Don't Date Woke Women

Handwaving Freakoutery • 803 implied HN points • 08 Aug 23
🎭️ Culture Dating Politics Morality Gender Dynamics Social movements
  1. Politics impacts the dating market, affecting who people choose to date based on their ideologies.
  2. There is a rise in people unwilling to date across political lines, leading to fewer marriages and dates.
  3. Woke morality dynamics and past events like the Kavanaugh trial have influenced dating decisions, particularly in avoiding woke women due to fear of false accusations.

Confessions of a Serial Monogamist

The Reclamation Era • 19 implied HN points • 12 Jul 24
🎭️ Culture Relationships Divorce Dating Personal Growth Women
  1. Being in a long-term relationship can make it hard to understand dating after a breakup. It's okay to feel confused about starting over.
  2. Dating apps are often seen as intimidating, especially for those who haven't used them before. Many people prefer real connections instead of casual dating.
  3. Being a serial monogamist—someone who is often in relationships—can bring up feelings of uncertainty and self-reflection after a divorce. It's normal to question past patterns in relationships.

Do not date me

Thicket Forte • 659 implied HN points • 12 Nov 22
😂 Humor Dating Relationships Narrative Personal Stories Social Commentary
  1. The person feels unworthy of dating because of past embarrassing or strange experiences, like almost drowning while trying to impress someone.
  2. They joke about their physical flaws, like having bad eyesight and not being able to look at someone properly.
  3. They express worries about their lack of skills or knowledge for a future together, and feel they wouldn't be a good partner in tough situations.

Insights from 2,961 First Dates

Dan's Stack • 692 implied HN points • 18 Mar 22
🏥 Health & Wellness Dating Religion Politics
  1. Women tend to rate 72% of men as below average in physical attractiveness.
  2. People value their partner's politics more than their religion, and religion more than ethnicity, with women placing slightly higher importance on these factors compared to men.
  3. Attractive men have more sexual partners, but the number of partners doesn't seem to be influenced by attractiveness for women.

Agile Dating - A Less Painful Way to Date

Cozy Philosophy • 14 HN points • 24 May 24
🏥 Health & Wellness Dating Relationships Self-Improvement Communication Emotional Health
  1. Modern dating can be confusing and stressful due to limited information and time, leading to self-doubt and anxiety.
  2. Approaching new relationships with Agile Dating principles helps navigate uncertainties with clarity, empathy, and continuous improvement.
  3. Agile Dating involves treating relationships as experiments with co-creators, radical transparency, empathy, and regular check-ins to decide on next steps.

H is Not a Scarlet Letter

Ladyparts • 239 implied HN points • 15 Jun 22
🏥 Health & Wellness Stigma Dating Statistics Awareness
  1. We need to openly discuss and destigmatize STDs like herpes and HPV to prevent further spread and promote honesty in relationships.
  2. Many people do not disclose their STD status to their partners, highlighting the importance of getting tested and being honest in relationships.
  3. Sexually transmitted infections are increasing among older adults, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing safe sex practices at any age.

Leave #WestElmCaleb Alone

Ladyparts • 279 implied HN points • 22 Jan 22
🎭️ Culture Generation Dating Women
  1. The author is urging Zoomers to focus on bigger issues instead of criticizing a particular individual's behavior.
  2. The author, being a Gen-X individual and a mother of a 20-something, empathizes with Zoomers' struggles with modern dating.
  3. The post encourages readers to subscribe to Ladyparts for more content and a 7-day free trial.

Most women don't realize how much dating sucks for men

Sex and the State • 21 implied HN points • 29 Oct 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Gender Society Relationships Mental health
  1. Many women overlook the difficulties men face in dating. Men often deal with high expectations and pressure, making their experience challenging.
  2. Recent research shows a growing concern about men's mental health and their experiences in dating. It's important to talk about how these issues affect relationships.
  3. Understanding each other's struggles in dating can help improve communication and connection between men and women. Both sides have their own challenges that deserve recognition.

Comet and Barboza

Splattern • 39 implied HN points • 10 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture Social life Friendship Dating Personal Growth
  1. Feeling respected is important in relationships. It means acknowledging others and valuing their presence, like looking back at a fellow competitor in a race.
  2. Building connections can be fun, especially when hanging out with friends and getting to know new people. Compliments and confidence can make a big difference when trying to socialize.
  3. Old friendships allow us to be our true selves and have a good time together. It's nice to bond over shared experiences, like being single and looking for connections with others.

Free Press Lonely Hearts Club

Common Sense with Bari Weiss • 60 implied HN points • 15 Feb 24
🎭️ Culture Dating Emails Community
  1. Free Press is working on a dating app named UnHinged but in the meantime is using an old-school matchmaking approach for Valentine's Day.
  2. Those interested in finding love within Free Press can email [email protected] with personal details and a story about changing their mind recently.
  3. Selected entries will be featured in a forthcoming morning email for Free Press subscribers.

Tinder expands its ID verification feature

philsiarri • 44 implied HN points • 20 Feb 24
🕹 Technology Social media Dating Security
  1. Tinder is expanding its ID verification feature to users in the US, UK, Brazil, and Mexico to enhance safety and confidence in connecting with matches.
  2. The ID verification process involves comparing user-provided information with official IDs like Driver's Licences or Passports through a video selfie.
  3. Verified users receive badges indicating their verification status and experience a 67% increase in matches, showing the effectiveness of this safety measure.

Why finding love is more complicated than ever

Tranquil Thoughts • 0 implied HN points • 23 Jan 23
🎭️ Culture Dating Relationships Society Expectations Love
  1. Finding love today is more complicated because there are many more choices but less societal structure to help make those choices. In the past, love was often found through arranged introductions and societal expectations.
  2. People now take longer to decide on a partner because they can explore many options. This leads them to expect love before committing, changing the traditional sequence of ritual coming before love.
  3. Modern relationships demand a lot more from partners, but people often try to achieve deep connections in a much shorter time. This makes the search for love feel harder and more rushed than it used to be.