The hottest Social norms Substack posts right now

And their main takeaways
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Top Culture Topics

Incivility: Dunkin' Donuts Edition

Disaffected Newsletter • 1258 implied HN points • 27 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Social norms Public Behavior Service Industry Generational differences
  1. Incivility in daily life is increasing, especially among service workers. This is not just a rare occurrence but a common issue that happens regularly.
  2. Many believe that service workers have 'bad days' which excuses their behavior, but this mindset is challenged. People should not accept poor service as a norm just because someone is having a tough time.
  3. Younger generations, particularly Millennials, may not recognize or fully understand the shift in attitudes towards service jobs. The expectation for respectful service should remain high, regardless of the circumstances.

Not the best, not the worst

City Quitters • 519 implied HN points • 19 Jan 24
🎭️ Culture Personal Growth Achievement Workplace culture Social norms Mental health
  1. Our culture often pushes us to constantly achieve and compete, but this can lead to burnout and unhappiness. It's okay to not always strive to be the best.
  2. Instead of focusing on individual success and status, we should value relationships and collaboration. A shift towards caring for each other can be more fulfilling.
  3. Giving up the pressure of achievement can be freeing. Embracing who we are, with all our flaws and feelings, can lead to a more authentic and enjoyable life.

Opinions Are Bullshit

Everything Is Bullshit • 707 implied HN points • 28 Nov 23
📖 Philosophy Social norms
  1. Opinions are not facts, preferences, or beliefs, but a strategic game of social norms.
  2. Expressing opinions is about trying to appear superior without admitting it openly.
  3. Opinions involve covert judgments and externalizing preferences to win the 'opinion game'.

Normalyze This

utopian drivel • 825 implied HN points • 06 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture LGBTQ+ Identity Social norms Equality Sexuality
  1. Normalizing gay men and relationships was a gradual process that involved marketing strategies and societal shifts.
  2. The idea of 'normalizing' behaviors can be complex, as seen in the evolution of societal views towards online dating and sexual expressions.
  3. Resisting normalization is about embracing the diversity of identities and behaviors without conforming to a narrow definition of 'normal.'
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Will You Turn Off Your Phone for 24 Hours?

The Analog Family • 319 implied HN points • 28 Feb 24
🎭️ Culture Lifestyle Social norms Parenting Mental health
  1. Global Day of Unplugging encourages people to turn off their phones for 24 hours. It helps us realize how much we rely on our devices.
  2. Unplugging can improve our relationships, especially with kids who crave attention from parents. By disconnecting, we can reconnect better with each other.
  3. Taking a break from screens can lead to a fun and refreshing experience. It might inspire us to make unplugging a regular habit.

How visualization reveals implicit prejudices

Alberto Cairo's The Art of Insight • 219 implied HN points • 08 Apr 24
🎭️ Culture Data Visualization Media representation Gender Issues Social norms
  1. Data visualization can show our hidden biases. Seeing how we react to certain graphs might make us realize our feelings about different groups.
  2. Negative reactions to visual data about trans and nonbinary people may reflect societal prejudices. People should think about why they feel the way they do when looking at such charts.
  3. Many mainstream media outlets report on gender issues in a biased way. Understanding our biases can lead to better reporting and broader acceptance of gender diversity.

A clarification but, crucially, not a correction

Close-reading the reruns with Phoebe Maltz Bovy • 334 implied HN points • 30 Jan 24
🎭️ Culture Gender Appearance Critique Body Image Social norms
  1. The author clarified a theory about online pseudonyms critiquing appearances of celebrities, emphasizing it was just a neutral guess.
  2. The author received feedback from a woman contradicting assumptions about their identity and intentions behind their critique of Taylor Swift's appearance.
  3. The discussion expanded to critique societal norms around women's body image and the impact of judgments on appearance.

Social norms as classifiers

normality’s Substack • 39 implied HN points • 25 Jul 24
📖 Philosophy Ethics Morality Cognition Social norms Cooperation
  1. Humans create social norms to help detect and punish cheating behavior. These norms act like classifiers that help separate honest mistakes from dishonest actions.
  2. The Knobe effect shows that people often see bad actions as intentional, while good actions are viewed differently. This can lead to inconsistencies in moral judgment based on our understanding of intentions.
  3. It's important to continuously review and update our social norms. When norms fail, they can harm innocent people, so we need to make sure they are fair and effective.

The Ironist

Desk Notes by Charles Schifano • 109 implied HN points • 14 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Language Irony Communication Social norms
  1. People often want irony to be shown clearly because misunderstandings are frustrating. They might wish for a special font to spot irony right away.
  2. Irony relies on the gap between what is said and what is meant. If everyone understands it perfectly, it might not be true irony.
  3. Today's culture puts a strong focus on clarity and being understood. This change makes it harder for people to laugh off mistakes or misunderstandings.

Use phone manners or I don't answer your calls

Disaffected Newsletter • 999 implied HN points • 19 Apr 23
🎭️ Culture Communication Social norms Technology Etiquette
  1. Always identify yourself when making a call. Just saying 'Is Josh there?' without your name is rude.
  2. Check if it's okay to use speakerphone before you start talking. It can make your call harder to hear, and the other person might not want private conversations overheard.
  3. Ask if the other person can hear you well after connecting your headphones. It's important to make sure they can understand you clearly.

Communication: do it right

Disaffected Newsletter • 859 implied HN points • 06 Apr 23
🎭️ Culture Communication Human behavior Social norms Technology impact Generational differences
  1. Clear communication is important. When asking for help, be specific and provide details so others can understand you easily.
  2. Don't expect others to do the work for you. If you send vague messages, people might ignore your requests instead of figuring out what you want.
  3. Respect in communication is essential. Everyone should consider the needs of the person they're talking to and not treat them like a machine.

From Propriety to Extremism

Doc Hammer's Anvil • 216 implied HN points • 29 Jan 24
📖 Philosophy Morality Behavior Reality Mental Illness Social norms
  1. Mental illness isn't necessary for spiraling into extremism, but it can play a role in exacerbating the process.
  2. Human judgment of behavior is based on societal norms and personal perceptions of propriety, praise-worthiness, blame-worthiness, reward-worthiness, and punishment-worthiness.
  3. Low costs and high benefits can lead to purity spirals, where society's expectations become more demanding, driving behavior towards extremism.

Pickup Lines

Desk Notes by Charles Schifano • 133 implied HN points • 13 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Social norms Technology impact Human Interaction Philosophy Personal Reflection
  1. Rudeness in daily interactions can lead to interesting conversations about empathy and kindness. When someone behaves poorly, it often sparks curiosity about their reasons and intentions.
  2. Technological progress is clear, but it's important to consider whether we've become more thoughtful and caring as a society. Just knowing more doesn't always mean we are better to each other.
  3. Our understanding of the past can change with new information. Life is about continually learning and revisiting what we thought we knew, which helps shape our connections with others.

Ask vs guess culture

Tech and Tea • 946 HN points • 12 Aug 23
🎭️ Culture Social norms Work dynamics Generational differences
  1. Ask culture involves being direct in requesting what you want, even if it seems unreasonable.
  2. Guess culture involves asking for something only if you're fairly sure the other person will say yes, and reading indirect cues to gauge appropriateness.
  3. Navigating between ask and guess culture can be challenging, especially in personal relationships and work environments.

From Anti-Aging to Pro-Living

Creative Destruction • 26 implied HN points • 22 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Health trends Social norms Lifestyle Choices Consumer behavior
  1. People are really focused on anti-aging and doing extreme things to avoid getting older. This can make them miss out on actually enjoying life.
  2. The trend is getting more commercialized, with lots of companies selling products that promise to reverse aging. It's becoming more about selling than about real health.
  3. Focusing too much on living longer can lead to forgetting how to truly live and enjoy the present moment.

Why are East Asians culturally tight collectivists?

The Great Gender Divergence • 255 implied HN points • 05 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Cultural Evolution Social norms Institutions Identity politics
  1. East Asians prefer social cohesion and harmony over self-expression and individualism
  2. Factors like rice farming, socio-economic threats, Confucianism, and authoritarianism may contribute to cultural tightness
  3. Despite cultural tightness, societies like South Korea have shown resistance and democratization

Girlfood

Close-reading the reruns with Phoebe Maltz Bovy • 235 implied HN points • 10 Jul 23
🍲 Food & Drink Trends Eating Habits Social norms Gender Roles Cooking
  1. The trend of 'girl dinner' involves young women making meals out of snacks, sparking discussions on social media.
  2. Having simple snack meals every night can feel tedious, especially when lacking a kitchen for an extended period.
  3. Eating styles can be influenced by gender dynamics, with certain meal types being associated more with specific social situations or relationships.

Femininity is a flex for top-half men

Sex and the State • 41 implied HN points • 20 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Gender Issues Social norms Pop culture Masculinity Feminism
  1. Top-half men can safely express femininity without facing the same backlash that bottom-half men do. This difference shows how societal pressure around gender roles varies based on social class.
  2. Many men, particularly from marginalized groups, perform masculinity to protect themselves from real threats of violence. They are often trapped in rigid gender roles that can hurt their personal development.
  3. The divide in how femininity and masculinity are perceived can affect academic success, especially for boys. Those pushed to conform to traditional masculinity may struggle more in school.

Costumed in Gender, Haunted by Patriarchy

Humanities in Revolt • 179 implied HN points • 22 Oct 23
🎭️ Culture Gender Social norms Values Stereotypes
  1. Halloween costumes often reinforce patriarchal gender stereotypes by limiting the options for boys and girls and associating certain traits with specific genders.
  2. Patriarchy's influence on culture is evident in the polarized definitions of maleness and femaleness in mass-produced children's Halloween costumes.
  3. Gender is a socially constructed concept, not a biological one, and it prescribes social norms and roles based on patriarchal assumptions rather than biological reality.

The Happy Wife School

Sex and the State • 33 implied HN points • 05 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Gender Roles Marriage Responsibility Society Social norms
  1. Women often feel they have to take responsibility for their husband's happiness, but that's not fair or accurate. Each person should have their own role in a marriage.
  2. It's common to believe that if one person works hard enough, they can fix all problems in a relationship. But both partners are needed to make things work.
  3. No one can completely control their circumstances or the actions of others. It's important to understand that sometimes, things are beyond our control.

How the gender pay gap gave me empathy for men

Sex and the State • 61 implied HN points • 10 Dec 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Gender Issues Political Philosophy Feminism Libertarianism Social norms
  1. The gender pay gap is often influenced by personal choices, like marriage and childbirth, rather than just discrimination. It's important to look at how societal expectations shape these choices.
  2. Both men and women face pressures from cultural norms about gender roles. Blaming individuals for broader systemic issues is unfair and ignores the real struggles they face.
  3. Men, especially those struggling in today's society, experience loneliness and pressure to conform to traditional masculinity. Understanding their challenges can help us all work towards a more empathetic society.

New Year's Resolution: Bring Back The Aunties

Reactionary Feminist • 47 implied HN points • 31 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Social norms Gender Studies Relationship Dynamics Community Building
  1. Older married women can play a key role in helping younger friends form relationships. They have the experience and interest to gently guide and support their social circles.
  2. The current dating scene feels challenging for many, with issues like online dating creating confusion and loneliness. This highlights the need for support in finding lasting relationships.
  3. Taking on the 'auntie' role by connecting younger singles can be beneficial for everyone involved. It’s a way to strengthen community ties and help combat loneliness among the next generation.

Message to all women: “your boundaries are now defunct”

A B’Old Woman • 419 implied HN points • 07 Nov 22
🎭️ Culture Gender Issues Social norms Public spaces Safety
  1. Women are feeling their boundaries are being ignored, especially regarding safe spaces like toilets. There's concern that their right to privacy is being compromised.
  2. Policies are shifting to prioritize inclusivity for transgender and non-binary people, but this can sometimes overlook the needs and safety of women. The dialogue often places the needs of men before women's.
  3. Many believe that separate spaces for women, like women-only toilets, are important for their dignity and safety. There's a push for workplaces to recognize and respect these boundaries.

Yes, male wages explain marriage declines

Sex and the State • 32 implied HN points • 15 Jan 25
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Income Inequality Gender Roles Social norms
  1. Marriage rates are declining, especially among poorer men and women. Many women are opting for single motherhood instead.
  2. The reason for this decline isn't just about money, but about the quality of potential partners. Poorer men often don't meet the standards women have for marriage.
  3. Reports that say women are too wealthy to marry don't consider that most of the decline is happening in lower-income groups. Single motherhood needs more attention since it's a growing concern.

No, incels, women are not “too shallow”

Sex and the State • 32 implied HN points • 09 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Gender Issues Relationships Social norms Masculinity Feminism
  1. Women value different traits than looks when choosing partners. They often prioritize status over physical appearance.
  2. The idea that women are too shallow for ugly men is not true. Most women don't typically have casual sex with anyone, regardless of looks.
  3. Improving social skills and personality can lead to better relationships. Many men focus too much on looks instead of what really matters in attracting partners.

Reflections on Politics at Thanksgiving Dinner

Nothing Human • 50 implied HN points • 28 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Family Dynamics Social norms Race Issues Communication styles
  1. At family dinners, people often avoid talking about tough topics to keep the peace. It's common for family members to feel pressure to respond politely instead of honestly.
  2. One person wanted to see if the family felt comfortable discussing their thoughts on race in art. This showed a desire for deeper connection and honesty among loved ones.
  3. It's important to create a safe space where family can share their true feelings, even if those feelings are uncomfortable. Trust and openness can help strengthen family bonds.

Let Women Speak in New Zealand.

A B’Old Woman • 219 implied HN points • 10 Mar 23
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics Gender Issues Activism Social norms Public Discourse
  1. Working together on one clear issue can lead to big achievements. It's important to focus on what unites us, even when we have different beliefs.
  2. It's okay to have positions we won't compromise on, but we can still find common ground with others. Open dialogue can help build respect and understanding.
  3. Conversations around important topics like women's rights should be honest and straightforward. It's essential to protect our bodies and ensure a good future for our children.

American Lunch

Unbound • 505 implied HN points • 21 Feb 23
🎭️ Culture Conversation Community Social norms
  1. Regional differences in America persist, influencing social interactions and behaviors.
  2. Conversation between strangers can lead to surprising connections and shared values.
  3. The impact of societal polarization and digital culture on personal interactions is reflected in everyday encounters.

Turn-taking in the age of Zoom

The Counterfactual • 139 implied HN points • 05 May 23
🎭️ Culture Communication Language Social norms Technology impact Human behavior
  1. Turn-taking is a key part of human conversation, where one person speaks and then the other responds. This has been observed even in some animals, showing that it's a long-established communication behavior.
  2. Studies show that conversation timing is mostly consistent across different languages, with an average pause of about 208 milliseconds between turns. This quick exchange helps keep conversations flowing smoothly.
  3. Zoom and similar video call platforms can disrupt the natural rhythm of conversations, leading to longer pauses and more frustration. This change might affect how we communicate in the long term as remote communication becomes more common.

Female Narcissism: Motorist Edition

Disaffected Newsletter • 359 implied HN points • 04 Aug 22
🎭️ Culture Behavior Gender Society Identity Social norms
  1. There seems to be a noticeable shift in driving behavior, with some women driving more aggressively than men compared to 10-15 years ago.
  2. This change in how women drive is linked to a cultural attitude that excuses their bad behavior, often saying they are just overwhelmed or that it’s a response to misogyny.
  3. The idea of female empowerment often gets tied to this aggressive behavior, as some women actively react badly when challenged for their dangerous driving.