The hottest Sexuality Substack posts right now

And their main takeaways
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Top Culture Topics

The curse of f*ckability

The Shift With Sam Baker • 738 implied HN points • 08 Jun 23
🎭️ Culture Gender Ageing Empowerment Sexuality
  1. The concept of 'fuckability' is a curse that affects women from puberty and beyond, with societal expectations and objectification causing harm.
  2. Women, especially as they age, are rejecting the societal pressure of being seen as 'fuckable' and embracing their independence and experiences.
  3. The issue of 'fuckability' is deeply intertwined with power dynamics and ownership over women, beyond just physical appearance.

'The Idol' Embodied Our Sexual Culture

Many Such Cases • 979 implied HN points • 07 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Media Criticism Sexuality Television Art Trauma
  1. The show 'The Idol' showed very real and uncomfortable aspects of our sexual culture. Instead of shying away from difficult topics, it gave viewers a mirror to reflect on these issues.
  2. Many people misunderstood the show's intention, thinking it endorsed negative actions rather than critiquing them. This highlights a lack of media literacy in understanding complex narratives.
  3. 'The Idol' aimed to explore trauma, sexuality, and shame but left audiences feeling unsettled. It reminds us that not all stories provide neat resolutions, and that's a reality we often want to ignore.

Good At Sex: Misjudging What Women Want (pt6)

Knowingless • 810 implied HN points • 29 Jan 24
🏥 Health & Wellness Sexuality Gender differences Relationships
  1. In the realm of sex, men often overestimate what women want, leading to potential misunderstandings in sexual encounters.
  2. Men may exaggerate women's desires based on their own observations and experiences, creating a gap in understanding.
  3. Understanding the differences in sexual preferences between genders can help in bridging the gap and improving communication in intimate relationships.
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Les Belles Dames Sans Merci

SBJournal • 353 implied HN points • 16 Jan 24
🎭️ Culture Memoir Feminism Sexuality History Literature
  1. Facing challenges in printing and distributing a feminist erotic magazine in the 80s due to societal norms and discrimination.
  2. Encountering obstacles in business operations and facing prejudice due to the nature of the content.
  3. Navigating the complexities of feminist politics, censorship, and personal relationships within the context of sexual liberation movements.

Are We In a Hyper-Sexual Culture or Not?

Many Such Cases • 1079 implied HN points • 04 May 23
🎭️ Culture Media Sexuality Society Entertainment Trends
  1. There's a mix of hyper-sexuality and sexual emptiness in our culture. We see lots of sexual content online, but it often feels lacking in intimacy and meaning.
  2. Media has shifted from playful to more serious when showing sex. Many now complain about romantic comedies being too sexual, even though that's been a tradition.
  3. People often react negatively to sexual scenes in movies, which highlights a growing discomfort with sexuality. This can make our current sexual culture feel dull and disconnected.

Of Course Fetishes Are Political

Many Such Cases • 1179 implied HN points • 10 Mar 23
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Feminism Political Discourse Social Issues Media Critique
  1. Sex positivity is often seen as the idea that all kinks are personal and shouldn't be criticized. But it's important to understand that sex is also influenced by culture and politics.
  2. Some people see traditional lifestyles, like being a 'tradwife', as just a personal choice, but they can also be tied to specific sexual or cultural fetishes, showing how complicated these desires can be.
  3. We need to be open to discussing and critiquing various fetishes instead of just accepting them as normal. Not all desires are healthy, and we should explore where they come from.

AI, Big Naturals and You

Many Such Cases • 819 implied HN points • 01 Feb 23
🎭️ Culture Pop culture Media Relationships AI Ethics Sexuality
  1. AI could change how people view adult content, but it's unlikely to completely replace platforms like OnlyFans. Many users are drawn to the personal connection they feel with creators, not just the images.
  2. Some people may turn to AI-generated porn, especially for niche interests, but the majority still value the human element in adult entertainment.
  3. AI girlfriends might offer temporary comfort for lonely individuals, but they lack the depth of real relationships. Relying on them could make connecting with real people even harder.

A Visit to the Goon Cave

Many Such Cases • 939 implied HN points • 13 Dec 22
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Addiction Community Identity
  1. Gooning is a practice where people engage in prolonged masturbation sessions to pornography, often for several hours. It focuses on reaching a trance-like state while edging, enhancing the experience of pleasure.
  2. Many gooners create personal spaces called 'goon caves' filled with pornographic materials and multiple screens to fully immerse themselves in the act. These setups reflect a commitment to their pursuit of pleasure.
  3. Some individuals involved in gooning see it as an addiction and even celebrate the negative aspects of their behavior. This fascination can lead to isolation and a lack of meaningful social connections, raising concerns about the impact of pornography on relationships and society.

Yeah, Yeah, The Sexual Revolution

Castalia • 339 implied HN points • 30 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture Feminism Sexuality Social Issues Relationships Media Critique
  1. The sexual revolution has raised questions about its success, with many arguing it has failed. Issues like high divorce rates and rising unhappiness, particularly among women, are often cited as evidence.
  2. Feminism has made strides, but it also faces challenges in the dating market. Women have gained more opportunities, but the realities of attraction and relationships haven't changed significantly.
  3. Society swings between periods of sexual liberation and repression. The hope is for a future where there's more acceptance of diverse sexualities without trying to return to the past's extremes.

Is The Rent Killing Sex?

The Discourse Lounge • 550 implied HN points • 25 Feb 24
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Urbanism Youth Social media Relationships
  1. High housing costs and living arrangements impact young people's sexual activity, but it may not be the sole reason for the decline in sex among the youth.
  2. Social media and digital content consumption are influencing the decline in sexual activity among young people, shifting priorities from physical activities like partying to phone engagement.
  3. The decrease in early marriages and relationships, along with the availability of dating apps providing many options for sex, are other significant factors contributing to the decrease in sexual activity among young people.

Lesbians Who Only Date Men

Default Wisdom • 185 implied HN points • 18 Mar 24
🎭️ Culture Identity Online Communities Sexuality Generation Z Gender identity
  1. Sexual orientation is now defined more by feelings and affinity than by physical experience.
  2. Online affinity networks and fandoms play a role in shaping and evolving how individuals identify themselves.
  3. Shifts in identity labeling show a move from behavior-based categorization to more subjective, internal essence-based categorization.

Many Such Cases: a formal relaunch

Many Such Cases • 559 implied HN points • 01 Dec 22
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Social Issues Personal essays Online Communities Relationship Dynamics
  1. The newsletter focuses on exploring desire and how it affects our lives. It's about understanding our feelings and how they influence our interactions.
  2. There is a growing concern about the decline of sexual relationships and social connections in society. This change reflects a bigger problem with loneliness and isolation.
  3. The writer plans to share personal stories and thoughts regularly, and will also offer paid content with a community element. They want to engage with readers and help with their questions.

Lily Phillips and the Spreadsheet Egregore

Reactionary Feminist • 59 implied HN points • 12 Dec 24
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Media Feminism Digital Culture
  1. Lily Phillips participated in a shocking stunt where she had sex with 100 men in 24 hours, which left her feeling robotic and dissociated. It shows how extreme pressure from fans can lead to tough emotional experiences.
  2. The idea of 'audience capture' explains how creators like Phillips might feel compelled to meet audience expectations, even if it harms them. This pressure can feel like a form of possession by the desires of her followers.
  3. The concept of 'egregores' suggests that collective desires or expectations can have a powerful impact on individuals. This means that Phillips' choices may not be fully hers, as they are influenced by both online culture and group dynamics.

What Is Beauty?

Life and Letters • 59 implied HN points • 01 Apr 24
🎭️ Culture Aesthetics Art Literature Biology Sexuality History
  1. Sexual attraction plays a big role in art and beauty. It has been important in history but seems less central in today's discussions about aesthetics.
  2. Richard Prum's theory explains that beauty in the animal world, like a peacock's tail, comes from sexual selection rather than just survival needs. Animals choose mates based on beauty, which shapes what traits get passed down.
  3. Culture and biology are deeply connected when it comes to beauty and desire. This idea can be seen in literature from ancient times, where beautiful characters are often depicted as more desirable than strong ones.

Happy Valentine's Day. Have some stats on sex

Sex and the State • 29 implied HN points • 14 Feb 25
🎭️ Culture Gender Studies Feminism Sexuality Sociology Relationships
  1. The ongoing debate in feminism is about whether sex is morally neutral, impacting how people view sex work and gender issues. It's crucial to consider different perspectives in these discussions.
  2. The author's focus has shifted over time, now exploring masculinity and gender while still connecting this to broader societal issues like class and policy analysis.
  3. Despite feeling frustrated about repetitive arguments over the years, the author sees value in persistence and humor while discussing important topics in society.

Notes on 'No Nut November'

Many Such Cases • 399 implied HN points • 06 Dec 22
🎭️ Culture Internet Trends Sexuality Memes Community Masculinity
  1. 'No Nut November' is a challenge where many men try to avoid ejaculation for a month. This challenge is often approached for fun, personal control, or even as a way to feel connected with their sexuality.
  2. Some men see this month as a chance to discuss and rethink their habits around sexuality, especially in relation to excessive porn use. They may recognize a need for change, even if they're unsure how to express it.
  3. The challenge may attract different motivations, including humor or serious intent, but it highlights a desire for self-discipline and a safe space to talk about these topics among peers.

I’m not letting the fascists have sex

Sex and the State • 36 implied HN points • 03 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Feminism Politics Media Society
  1. There's a tension between wanting to control women's bodies and celebrating their sexuality. It's a push and pull that reflects deep cultural conflicts.
  2. Some people celebrate women's sexual appeal while also promoting control over it, which shows a contradiction in their beliefs.
  3. Leftist debates about sexuality are often unnecessary and created, not fundamental issues, highlighting the complexities in social attitudes towards sex.

Learning how to ask for more

Men Yell at Me • 221 implied HN points • 17 Jan 24
🏥 Health & Wellness Sexuality Motherhood Relationships Self-discovery Empowerment
  1. Learning how to ask for more in relationships is important for personal growth and fulfillment.
  2. It can be empowering for women to challenge societal norms and ask for more in their lives.
  3. Exploring and understanding one's needs and desires can lead to healthier and more satisfying experiences, especially in intimate relationships.

Why women enforce the “must want sex all the time” masculinity norm

Sex and the State • 29 implied HN points • 08 Jan 25
🎭️ Culture Gender norms Sexuality Sociology Feminism Masculinity
  1. Women play a role in supporting the idea that men should always want sex. This belief can put pressure on both genders.
  2. The expectation for men to be sexually driven can lead to feelings of inadequacy if they don't meet these standards. It can affect their confidence and relationships.
  3. Challenging these norms could free both men and women to express their true desires without societal pressure. This could lead to healthier relationships and personal happiness.

Insta-Cucked

Many Such Cases • 299 implied HN points • 20 Dec 22
🎭️ Culture Relationships Social media Sexuality Psychology Gender Studies
  1. Some people on Instagram ask others to cuck them without really knowing what it means. They just send a direct message without any introduction.
  2. Cuckolding is about feeling powerless, but messaging a stranger isn't the right way to explore this desire. Understanding one's own feelings is important.
  3. It's frustrating when people think they can easily get others to fulfill their fantasies online. Real connections are more meaningful than quick messages.

Revisiting Desire

Many Such Cases • 419 implied HN points • 22 Jun 22
🎭️ Culture Internet culture Sexuality Desire Subcultures Gender Roles
  1. The writer reflects on their relationship with the concept of desire, exploring how it influences writing. They see desire as a common thread in many topics.
  2. They discuss a subreddit called r/CensoredForBetas, where some men identify as 'beta' and choose to limit their access to sexual content. This reveals complex views on self-identity and masculinity.
  3. The writer hopes to create a personal space for casual exploration of these themes, using desire as a guiding principle in their writing.

There's Nothing to Rethink

Holodoxa • 99 implied HN points • 12 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture Feminism Sexuality Gender Dynamics
  1. History has shown bizarre alliances between radical feminists and social conservatives against libertine culture and pornography
  2. Challenges in gender politics have led to changes in feminist labels and goals, blurring the lines between Right and Left ideologies
  3. Criticism of modern sexual ethics argues that the emphasis on consent overlooks emotional and psychological impacts, specifically for women

Do Women Really Have Fewer Partners Than Men?

Pryor Questions • 186 implied HN points • 16 Sep 23
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Statistics Gender
  1. The average number of sexual partners for men and women can vary depending on the type of average used, such as mean, median, or mode.
  2. Surveys on sexual partners may be influenced by social biases, leading to discrepancies in reported numbers between genders.
  3. Different studies and surveys show conflicting data on the average number of sexual partners for men and women, indicating the complexity of capturing such personal and varied experiences.

The Men Who Love Being Ripped Off

Many Such Cases • 219 implied HN points • 10 Jan 23
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Online Trends Consumer behavior Social Dynamics
  1. Some men find excitement in being misled or disappointed when it comes to online adult content. They enjoy the feeling of being 'ripped off' as part of their experience.
  2. For these men, the thrill comes from the contrast between their expectations and the reality. They might hope to see revealing images but often receive something completely different instead.
  3. This dynamic raises questions about the way sexuality is viewed, often reducing it to just a transaction. The focus can become less about connection and more about commerce.

The Dirty Blues

Mister Slang • 78 implied HN points • 12 Jul 23
🎭️ Culture Music History Literature Fiction Sexuality
  1. Blues singers used slang and double entendre in their music, often pushing the boundaries of decency.
  2. The blues offered a raw and honest perspective on life, focusing on the present rather than the afterlife.
  3. The dirty blues genre included explicit lyrics and was sometimes intertwined with hokum, a mix of trickery and nonsense.

Sympathy for the Devils

Banana Peel Pirouette • 59 implied HN points • 28 Oct 23
🎭️ Culture Gender Sexuality Community Identity Social Issues
  1. Terfs, or trans-exclusionary radical feminists, are a controversial group largely existing online and in digital spaces.
  2. The evolution of LGBTQ+ movements has caused divisions, particularly among lesbians, about the definition and inclusivity of the term 'lesbian.'
  3. Culture wars often revolve around defining social realities, such as sexuality, and establishing acceptable boundaries for personal identities.

LGBT Social Contagion: A Failed Hypothesis

American Dreaming • 107 implied HN points • 05 Feb 24
🇺🇸 U.S. Politics LGBT Generation Z Sexuality Culture
  1. LGBT identification rates have significantly increased among Gen Z, sparking skepticism and ridicule.
  2. Bisexuality is a major component of the LGBT community, often overlooked or misunderstood.
  3. The rise in LGBT identification is not solely attributed to social contagion, as historical data and research show higher rates of same-sex attraction and behavior.

"It's a male fetish"

Disaffected Newsletter • 239 implied HN points • 30 Jun 22
🎭️ Culture Gender Issues Mental health Sexuality Identity Feminism
  1. This issue is not just a male problem, as women can also experience similar attractions. It's important to understand that these feelings might stem from specific personality disorders rather than being merely a feature of male identity.
  2. Labeling this behavior as 'male' prevents us from addressing the core psychological issues at play. We need to focus on the mental health aspects rather than assigning blame based on gender.
  3. Ignoring that some women can share these traits keeps us from finding a real solution. Both men and women can have complex psychological challenges that should be openly discussed.

Too many of you care too much about sex

Sex and the State • 19 implied HN points • 18 Nov 24
🎭️ Culture Sexuality Gender Social Issues Feminism Political Commentary
  1. Many people focus too much on the topic of sex, which can lead to unnecessary stress. It's important to recognize that there are more aspects to life than just sex.
  2. The discussion around sex often gets tied to societal issues, but it's crucial to separate personal experiences from broader problems. Balancing both can help bring clarity.
  3. There’s a reminder that enjoying life and personal freedoms can be more fulfilling than getting caught up in the debates about sex and gender. Finding joy in everyday life is important.